Updated at the bottom.
Today I’m making Rum Balls* for a cookie exchange tomorrow. I knew I’d better type in this post before I get started um, testing and measuring the ingredients.
There are definitely some holiday blues out there. Nothing wrong with blue — it’s a nice color and a moody sound — just not pleasant as an emotion. To help y’all get in the spirit, so to speak, I am passing on a golden recipe to you.
Remember, so much in life is about process, not product.
So clear your afternoon or evening, gather your ingredients, and enjoy yourself. Follow the directions carefully. Let me know how things go.
Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality.
Take a large bowl; check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer…Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar…Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK; try another cup … just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor…
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
Credit to my very fun friend with the always-entertaining holiday party, Carl M.
P.S. Thanks to all of you for my birthday wishes — I felt so special!
*Here is my Dad’s special recipe, at least 4 decades old…
Rum Balls / Bourbon Balls (for the alliterationally inclined or Kentuckians)
2 1/2 C crushed vanilla wafers
1 C powdered sugar
1 C chopped pecans (optional)
2 T cocoa powder
3 T light corn syrup
1/2 to 2/3 C rum or bourbon
More powdered sugar
Mix all ingredients. Form balls, roll in powdered sugar. Refrigerate in covered container.