Am I reeling in the years?

January 13, 2008

in Uncategorized

Or, more precisely, do I look like I am?

I’ve spent my last three decades in my 30s. In my 20s, I watched thirtysomething. In my 30s, I was thirtysomething, and now, in my 40s, I hang out with thirtysomethings.

Since 40 is the new 20 and 60 is the new 40 and we apparently either all suck more at math or get really good at subtracting 20 as we age, I was drawn to How not to look — or act — your age in Saturday’s Rocky Mountain News. It’s Mary Winter’s take on the new book How Not to Look Old, by Charla Krupp.

I liked the sidebar that accompanied the article. I’ve re-ordered these items from my least-concerning to point-me-toward-the-retirement-village. I’d give myself a B+, or a hopeful 34 years:

Nothing ages you like . . .


Heavy foundation: I’m more likely to be accused of not wearing enough.
Dark lipstick: Yuk.
Obvious lip liner: Double yuk.
A bra that fails to boost the girls halfway between your shoulders and your elbows: I have just enough to matter but not enough to sag (not such a good thing in junior high school).
Dragon-lady nails: how do people do laundry with those?
An eyeglass chain around your neck: nope.
Hair that’s a solid block of color: I’m assuming gray doesn’t count as a secondary color? Still, I don’t have that problem yet.
Yellow teeth: good genes, good habits and a good dentist keep this one in check.
Holiday sweaters with bells and appliques: haven’t done it yet. Probably won’t.
Half-glasses: just regular glasses or contact lenses.
Nude pantyhose: oops. Love that reinforced toe. What’s the alternative — fish nets?
Long hair, parted in the middle: Why didn’t I get the memo BEFORE I spent a year growing out my bangs!? In any case, my part is just off center. So there.
Granny pants or mommy jeans: guilty. But not since I saw this (take the 56 seconds to watch it):

Note: this video must run afoul of copyright laws because each of the two I’ve placed here have promptly been removed. Instead, and with much less impact, here is a transcript of the clip. But it’s just not the same.

Mom Jeans

I DID love that 9 inch zipper. Sigh.

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Kami April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

I must be young! Not guilty on any of these . . . I don’t wear panty hose unless it is a night out and that usually means black. I am not too many years away from the 1/2 glasses though.My only issue is that I read the post thinking that the people in their 40′s were “those people”. Then I realized I AM in my 40′s now. gulp.Glad you had fun at the get together!

Reply

Yoka April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

I just saw you two weeks ago. You look so much younger than you. Stay with us thirty somethings for a while!!

Reply

Sheri April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

I get an error on the video but my hair is longer and parts just OFF centre too so screw them:-)

Reply

Lavender Luz April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Meghan — thanks!PJ — everyone needs a niece like that, one who sees your heart rather than your drivers license.Niobe — thanks for the heads up. I put in a different link. And you hit on my dilemma exactly. What are the options to nude pantyhose?? Especially if it’s cold or if your legs aren’t fresh-from-the-aesthetician?

Reply

niobe April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Looks like the video has vanished. But clue me in, what *are* you supposed to wear with skirts? Tights? Black stockings? Bare legs (not exactly practical in winter)?

Reply

Pamela April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

I definitely read this list with great interest as we’re contemporaries. My niece decided that I was 37 during our visit recently so I’m going with it!

Reply

Meghan April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Having just met you I can emphatically say you do NOT look your age. I do have this thing were I think everyone is my age, but that doesn’t change my opinion at all!

Reply

Kami April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

I must be young! Not guilty on any of these . . . I don’t wear panty hose unless it is a night out and that usually means black. I am not too many years away from the 1/2 glasses though.My only issue is that I read the post thinking that the people in their 40′s were “those people”. Then I realized I AM in my 40′s now. gulp.Glad you had fun at the get together!

Reply

Yoka April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

I just saw you two weeks ago. You look so much younger than you. Stay with us thirty somethings for a while!!

Reply

Sheri April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

I get an error on the video but my hair is longer and parts just OFF centre too so screw them:-)

Reply

Lavender Luz April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Meghan — thanks!PJ — everyone needs a niece like that, one who sees your heart rather than your drivers license.Niobe — thanks for the heads up. I put in a different link. And you hit on my dilemma exactly. What are the options to nude pantyhose?? Especially if it’s cold or if your legs aren’t fresh-from-the-aesthetician?

Reply

niobe April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Looks like the video has vanished. But clue me in, what *are* you supposed to wear with skirts? Tights? Black stockings? Bare legs (not exactly practical in winter)?

Reply

Pamela April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

I definitely read this list with great interest as we’re contemporaries. My niece decided that I was 37 during our visit recently so I’m going with it!

Reply

Meghan April 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Having just met you I can emphatically say you do NOT look your age. I do have this thing were I think everyone is my age, but that doesn’t change my opinion at all!

Reply

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