Vote in the Limerick Chick Primary

March 10, 2008

in Limerick Chick

Hillary or Obama. Why do we call one by the first name and the other by the last?

Rhetorical question. The REAL vote this week is among limericks. You’ll be able to vote twice, ethically. Here’s how it will work.

Through Thursday (March 13), we’ll have a “primary.” Any interested person can vote once per ISP, and we’ll narrow down to the top 3 entries. Limericks are found at the bottom of this post. Look over the very clever entries and pick your very favorite. Warning: it won’t be easy.

On Friday morning, I’ll put up a new poll that includes only the 3 top vote-getters. Come back then or sometime over the weekend to help determine who gets crowned the top Limerick Chick on St Patrick’s Day.

So vote early (now) and vote often (this weekend)!

Vote now. Come back Friday.

ENTRIES

A. Niobe #1
It’s Bea that she’s asked to go by
And others hasten to comply
But rather than bother
I call her The Blogger
Formerly Known As Bub And Pie
.

B. Niobe #2
A blogger whose name is Niobe
Said, “Look, my name sounds like Nairobi
It isn’t ni-OBE
Doesn’t rhyme with microbe
And if you don’t like it, then blow me.”

C. Niobe #3
So, Beck’s blog is chiefly comprised
Of recipes, deftly revised,
And stories that may be
‘Bout Boy, Girl, or Baby
With WORDS that are CAPITALIZED

D. Magpie #1
I’m not one for praying or mass.
I don’t like sea bream or bass.
But I’m given to braying
A favorite saying
The apposite “this too shall pass“.

E. Magpie #2
I know that she likes Coca-cola
and possibly crunchy granola.
But I never can tell
if blogger FreshHell
knows the difference ‘tween shit and shinola.

F. Kymberli #1
There is a deft writer named Niobe
who uses allegory and euphony and hyperbole.
The photography – classic,
the writing – fantastic,
though some might need use of a dictionary.

G. Kymberli #2
There was a Black surro named Kymberli
who played a good joke at delivery.
The nurse with affright
exclaimed, “This baby is White!”
Kym pointed, “He’s for them and not me.”

H. Niobe #4
A blog that I cannot explain
Is Amelies Welt, which contains
Both German and Eng-
Lish, but, the thing is
Amelie’s living in Spain

I. Stirrup Queens
Follistim and Menopur grow them
Lupron and Ganirelix slow them
Count them and measure
Treat each as a treasure
Follicles–can’t see them or hold them

J. Painted Maypole #1
I like to read Slouching Past Forty
Even if that fair blogger’s a shorty
I’ll forgive her that ill
since she has mad skills
I don’t care if she’s only 5’4″, see?

K. Painted Maypole #2
If she didn’t live quite so afar
I would like to meet up at a bar
I bet she’s quite fun
when she’s had more than one
That Jen M. at Get in the Car
tyle=”color:rgb(0,102,0);”>!

L. Painted Maypole #3
My reader says five hundred two
these posts, it claims, are all new.
Where to begin?
I think I’ll dig in
With the dude who writes at One Plus Two.

M. Painted Maypole #4
The kooky gal at RimaRama
is not truly the Queen of Drama
When she writes comedy
I’ll be slapping my knee!
That blogger is one funny mama!

N. Painted Maypole #5
Some say that she is quite an A-hole
Though it’s hard to believe Painted Maypole
Could ream someone out:
Yell, scream and shout.
I guess lack of sleep takes it’s toll.

O. Slouching Mom #1
About books and shelves she’s quite clever
A good pun she’ll forsake almost never
One spouse puts on plays
The other spends her days
Finding people shelter, hoping it’s forever.

P. Slouching Mom #2
This blogger enjoys words and their histories
She takes photos of life’s little mysteries —
Always a practical sort
Who makes a mean torte
And whose humor is filled with morbidities.

Q. Slouching Mom #3
And this woman’s words are so lush
Her prose so dense and rich I must gush
She’s got a wee boy
Is growing more joy
Don’t tell her she’s beautiful — she’ll blush.

R. Slouching Mom #4
This lady is astoundingly prolific
She knows that I think she’s terrific
She lives where it’s hot
Suffers mishaps quite a lot
This latest catastrophe’s horrific.

S. Painted Maypole #6
Says Julie at Using My Words
Toxic chemicals AREN’T for the birds
Dread Disease is no fun
Listen, candidates who run:
Plan to get this environment cured!

T. Painted Maypole #7
Got causes? Then write some Just Posts.
Mad and Jen are the lovely co-hosts.
Speak truth in love
Or throw down the glove
Over issues that speak to you most.

U. Painted Maypole #8
There once was a blogger named Painted
Whose image was suddenly tainted
When her Mom found the blog
All her veins it did clog
And onto the hard floor she fainted

V. Painted Maypole #9
I exercise while Seeking Sanity
My search is not purely for vanity
If I fit in this dress
I will have much less stress
Than if I’m as large as a manatee

W. Painted Maypole #10
Oh, how I do love to sing
Bright sunshine true happiness brings
A hug and a kiss
Will always bring bliss
Peanut butter’s Another Good Thing.

The final one was not able to be included in the voting, but feel free to leave a comment for the author.

X. Ms Planner
There once was a Cowboy from Portland.
Blood, needles and gore, he could not stand.

So imagine his chagrin,

When his knocked up wife said to him:

As I see it
, you will be in L&D holding my hand.

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Lavender Luz April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

These are all so great. I disqualified myself for Being Way Out of the League.Mel — is that a challenge?

Reply

Lollipop Goldstein April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

Um…I couldn’t help but notice that Ms. Lori doesn’t have one…hmmm…Can she write me a “shut up” comment in haiku? :-)

Reply

Furrow April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

I like E. It’s funny, but I also love that she went to the trouble to make it “‘tween” so that the meter would be right.

Reply

MrsSpock April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

What fun! Never thought I’d see the phrases “blow me” and shit and shinola” in a limerick…

Reply

Ms. Planner April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

Hey Lori. I am a jerk because I forgot to post this on Sunday, but I also have a limerick up as of this A.M. Thanks for organizing the fun! Ms. Planner

Reply

Beck April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

I have never, ever had a haiku written about me before, so I’m voting for #3.

Reply

IdleMindOfBeth April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

Such fun Lori! They’re all wonderful!BUT, I had to vote B… anyone that can rhyme an expletive with their name, while in prose… gotta love that!

Reply

Lavender Luz April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

These are all so great. I disqualified myself for Being Way Out of the League.Mel — is that a challenge?

Reply

Lollipop Goldstein April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

Um…I couldn’t help but notice that Ms. Lori doesn’t have one…hmmm…Can she write me a “shut up” comment in haiku? :-)

Reply

Furrow April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

I like E. It’s funny, but I also love that she went to the trouble to make it “‘tween” so that the meter would be right.

Reply

MrsSpock April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

What fun! Never thought I’d see the phrases “blow me” and shit and shinola” in a limerick…

Reply

Ms. Planner April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

Hey Lori. I am a jerk because I forgot to post this on Sunday, but I also have a limerick up as of this A.M. Thanks for organizing the fun! Ms. Planner

Reply

Beck April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

I have never, ever had a haiku written about me before, so I’m voting for #3.

Reply

IdleMindOfBeth April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

Such fun Lori! They’re all wonderful!BUT, I had to vote B… anyone that can rhyme an expletive with their name, while in prose… gotta love that!

Reply

LIW (Lady In Waiting) April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

OMG! They are wonderful. I seriously cannot choose, though I am partial to anything that Niobe writes…..

Reply

Aranne and Dan April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

I am not really voting but I had to comment on how talented people are! These were all really good and very funny. Good job to everyone that participated.

Reply

Denise April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

On the Hilary and Obama thing. I was just talking about this the other day with someone. Our speculation was that Hilary is called by her first name because she is female. Strange.I’ll be back to vote later!

Reply

LIW (Lady In Waiting) April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

OMG! They are wonderful. I seriously cannot choose, though I am partial to anything that Niobe writes…..

Reply

Aranne and Dan April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

I am not really voting but I had to comment on how talented people are! These were all really good and very funny. Good job to everyone that participated.

Reply

Denise April 7, 2010 at 12:02 am

On the Hilary and Obama thing. I was just talking about this the other day with someone. Our speculation was that Hilary is called by her first name because she is female. Strange.I’ll be back to vote later!

Reply

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