Meet Our Newest Weeble

by Lori Lavender Luz on March 25, 2009

in Family

The kids’ school had a Spring Fling last week. Come dance to music of the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s! Buy pizza and root beer floats for just a dollar! Have fun with your kids and rock out with the other parents! Pretend you’re not exhausted on a Friday night!

I was persuaded and we went. Shortly after we entered the gym, Reed disappeared for a bit and returned 15 minutes later all excited by the plastic bag in his arms. The plastic bag with water and a gold blob.

“Mom! I won a goldfish!”

I smiled, secretly plotting how I would pawn Fishy off on another family.

But the other moms were wise to my machinations, so I called Roger (who was watching college basketball in a bar with friends) to ask him to make an emergency trip to the pet store before it closed. Understanding the urgency of the situation, he left his friends and the action to get the fish accouterments, fulfilling his dadly duties.

The night wore on and I hula hooped, limboed, and played my leg like a guitar to Bon Jovi. Reed won a second fish. And Tessa won a third. Reed named his, curiously, 14 and 17. Tessa named hers Molly.

My kids somehow have a firm grasp of the Circle of Life. Because instead of asking about how Fishies live, their questions on the way home were about Fishies dying (how prescient).

“Mom, what will we do with Fishies when they die?” and “Mom, will my fish eat the others?” and “Will we be sad when they die?”and “How do we know when they are dead?”

I swear we don’t talk death all the time.

At home, we poured Fishies out of their bags and each into their own cups. No directions about water or space (we guessed at filtered water, room temperature). No real clue on how to keep goldfish alive. We went to bed, hoping for the best.

By the time Roger got home to transfer Fishies into their new bowl, 17 was already dead. By morning, 14 had joined him in a burial at sea (thanks, Roger).

The children woke up to just scrappy Molly flitting around the new bowl.

We replaced one of Reed’s fish with a fourth fish from the pet store (what a scam — donate a bunch of goldfish to an elementary school and watch your sales go through the roof!). But it, too, died even before we could name it.

Looks like Molly was destined to swim alone. Meet the winner of Survivor: Weebles.


Long may she live?

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{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

edenland April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Oh my God I love your kids. The talk about death … awesome.Did Molly win, like, a million dollars worth of fishfood? :)

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luna April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

I think reed might need to guest post about his naming process. inquiring minds want to know. and btw, you are hilarious. long live molly! but not too long, i guess.

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Martha April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Rock On, Molly!! She couldlast a couple of years. Don’t overfeed her and change only about a third of her water at any one time. Yes, I had fish a long time ago, it was entertainment for my cats.

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Peeveme April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

What a scam! May 17, 14, and no-name pass smoothly into the next fishbowl-world.

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Terra April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Oh you have a fish! We finally broke down and got Lauren a fish for Christmas…well she got the bowl, food etc for Christmas then we went and picked a fish out after…but we have a fish too…and it is still alive.

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edenland April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Oh my God I love your kids. The talk about death … awesome.Did Molly win, like, a million dollars worth of fishfood? :)

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chicklet April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Two died? Already? Seriously, I think I’d be afraid to be a fish in your house…

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Kristin April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Yay for Molly.You’ll need to change her water about once a week (maybe week and a half). And, you need to feed her a pinch two to three times a day. Instead of having to buy water all the time, you can buy a bottle of water treatment that enables you to use tap water.

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battynurse April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Very Funny. Sad for Reed that the others didn’t make it. I always thought gold fish were virtually indestructible. The time I tried to have a fish tank they were about the only thing I could keep alive.

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luna April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

I think reed might need to guest post about his naming process. inquiring minds want to know. and btw, you are hilarious. long live molly! but not too long, i guess.

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Martha April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Rock On, Molly!! She couldlast a couple of years. Don’t overfeed her and change only about a third of her water at any one time. Yes, I had fish a long time ago, it was entertainment for my cats.

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Peeveme April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

What a scam! May 17, 14, and no-name pass smoothly into the next fishbowl-world.

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Terra April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Oh you have a fish! We finally broke down and got Lauren a fish for Christmas…well she got the bowl, food etc for Christmas then we went and picked a fish out after…but we have a fish too…and it is still alive.

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K April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

OMG we boufght MJ 3 fish for his birthday and only 1 survvied. I think there is only 1 good fish in a bunch. LOL

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Melissa April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

I won Goldie at the Halloween Carnival when I was in 1st grade. She lived for 6 years (or so I was lead to believe). Her little bowl was packed in the ’68 Dart (along with the 2 toy poodles, the mama, the papa and moi) on annual road trips… Good golly, long live Miss Molly! ALSO.. Kudos to Rob for being so awesome!

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PFM April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

That’s a cute story. My 2 year old niece had 2 goldfish, Bert and Ernie. One of them died and she still calls the one, BertandErnie

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B April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

I think with gold fish you either have it or you don’t, or else they have it or they don’t. THat is, some go for years, others for hours.I’ve had both sorts. And the demise is never pleasant, although I like blessing them with wishes to enjoy the great ocean-in-the-sky as I press the flush. Somehow a watery end seems most apt for a fish.Farewell to the 3 little fishies. I am sure it must feel very unfair to Reed that it was his fish that died. I get that feeling.

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Furrow April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Gah! Goldfish are fragile. Creates a nice opportunity to talk about death, I guess, if you’ve been meaning to bring it up with your kids. The opposite is true for rabbits. Sex ed. A car dealership in town is actually giving away free bunnies. Seems wrong to me. Fish are one thing, but mammals?

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Lollipop Goldstein April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

What does it say about me that I’m really sad to hear that you endured three fish deaths in one week? I loved my goldfish so much that when she died, I begged my sister to come have a proper funeral in the bathroom with me.

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K April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

OMG we boufght MJ 3 fish for his birthday and only 1 survvied. I think there is only 1 good fish in a bunch. LOL

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Bonnie April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

What a scam :) I don’t know if you read our about our fish adventure. We bought a 20 gallon tank and to date have lost about 9 fish. We emptied it and eventually are going to give it another go. I’ve heard that once a goldfish survives the initial transfer they can be pretty sturdy. good luck!

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Melissa April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

I won Goldie at the Halloween Carnival when I was in 1st grade. She lived for 6 years (or so I was lead to believe). Her little bowl was packed in the ’68 Dart (along with the 2 toy poodles, the mama, the papa and moi) on annual road trips… Good golly, long live Miss Molly! ALSO.. Kudos to Rob for being so awesome!

Reply

PFM April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

That’s a cute story. My 2 year old niece had 2 goldfish, Bert and Ernie. One of them died and she still calls the one, BertandErnie

Reply

B April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

I think with gold fish you either have it or you don’t, or else they have it or they don’t. THat is, some go for years, others for hours.I’ve had both sorts. And the demise is never pleasant, although I like blessing them with wishes to enjoy the great ocean-in-the-sky as I press the flush. Somehow a watery end seems most apt for a fish.Farewell to the 3 little fishies. I am sure it must feel very unfair to Reed that it was his fish that died. I get that feeling.

Reply

Furrow April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Gah! Goldfish are fragile. Creates a nice opportunity to talk about death, I guess, if you’ve been meaning to bring it up with your kids. The opposite is true for rabbits. Sex ed. A car dealership in town is actually giving away free bunnies. Seems wrong to me. Fish are one thing, but mammals?

Reply

Lollipop Goldstein April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

What does it say about me that I’m really sad to hear that you endured three fish deaths in one week? I loved my goldfish so much that when she died, I begged my sister to come have a proper funeral in the bathroom with me.

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Wordgirl April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

OMGWe have a frozen frog in our freezer…I just remembered about…ACK. Ah, the difficulties of pet disposal in a Minnesota winter.We have a giant goldfish that had been in W’s aquarium with a bunch of minnows and various crayfish that die within a season…until the giant goldfish started eating the minnows — then it got transferred to a bowl in the kitchen…we got an air filter for the bowl…it helps survival rates…yikes –I’m a woman who can feel responsible for the happiness of a goldfish. :) XOPam

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cysteract April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Wtg Molly !! I won a couple fish at a fair when i was a kid one died the first night but the second one lived a good few years and ended up moving from his fish tank to a new pound my dad built in the garden! Long live Molly…RIP 17,14 and no name.

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oklaln86 April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Good luck with the fishy! I hope you can keep ‘em alive longer than I can!

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Becky April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Stuff the dude at the fair/carnival/place with the game booth forgets to tell you: – fishy should only stay in that baggy for 1 hour max. – fishy needs time to acclimate to changes in temp of water or will die from shock. – bags must remain level and should not be swung or shaken up or fishy dies from shock. – gold fish are not particularly hardy OR long lived. I could go on and on. I do have a tank full of danios who seem rather well adapted to care by neglectful grade school age kids. Ha! Why they keep giving away gold fish is beyond me.

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Beautiful Mess April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

We’ve done the goldfish as pets a few times. They never last a long time and the kids always end up sad. I hope Milly lives a long time. Congrats on your new arrival.*ICLW*

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Faith April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

Sometimes I feel like all goldfish are good for is dying!!! You’re a trooper to put up with them — and the great scam that is the petstore! ICLW.

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Sheri April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

One of my sons — someone you know and love — wants to know if Molly is still alive. Is Reed sad??Please don’t leave us hanging like this. :) Do tell…

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MrsSpock April 7, 2010 at 2:06 am

I give her a few days.My uncle used to be priest of the local parish before he retired, and we won many a goldfish (all named Goldie) that survived 24 hours tops at his church carnival. I think, though, though their demise must have been from all the ping-pong balls that were tossed into their bowls in an effort to win them.

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