“Real” work calls (the kind that pays, as opposed to blogging) and I’m running a couple of conferences this summer. But to keep my seat warm in my absence, I bring you some of my favorite guest bloggers on Fridays through July. Maybe you already know these amazing writers, and maybe you will find someone new to follow, but either way you are in for a treat.
A dash of IUI, peppered with IVF, add a side of ICSI, covered in FET.
This recipe of medical treatments has been a major part of JJ‘s life since 2007. When JJ and her husband, Mook, decided they wanted to pass on the family jeans they found out that no matter what your 7th grade sex-ed teacher told you, it does take more than one swimmer to reach the egg. They were diagnosed with a quieter side of infertility: male factor.
JJ and Mook were so fortunate that a delicious little boy was the end result of that recipe of treatments. You can find JJ blogging about parenting after infertility at Reproductive Jeans.
Growing up as the eldest of three children, I heard that term quite a bit.
Mook went a long time without knowing what that was all about, as he was an only child.
I had to learn to share my favorite toy, and my parents affection. Mook had to learn to share with his friends, and had his parents undivided attention.
Ask us each who had the better situation, and we’ll give you pros and cons to both.
To say we cherish every moment with this little person is an understatement. We have enjoyed sharing our joy with friends and family–all who can see how happy we are. They love to make baby noises and faces with him, tell us how cute he is, and shower him with hugs and kisses.
And then as sure as a rain storm comes in on a hot southern afternoon, we hear:
“So when are you going to give him a sibling?”
It’s been one of those questions that I knew we would hear eventually, but I wasn’t prepared to hear it for the first time 2 weeks after I had given birth. Now, those who know what a tough road it was for me to give birth in the first place (going through fertility treatments, and then dealing with pregnancy complications) knew better than to ask me that question. But the distant relative or friend on the giant-diary-into-our-lives ( a/k/a Facebook) have been throwing that question at me in as casual a tone as they would ask me what I want to eat for dinner tonight.
Maybe it’s because of my infertility background that I am dealing with this “Sibling Rivalry” in my head: will we or won’t we give the O-man a brother/sister?
In a perfect world, I would immediately say: YES! But the reality of it all is, I just don’t know…and it makes the sting of infertility burn all over again. We can’t just say: “Heck, let’s toss caution to the wind and hope for a surprise/oops baby!” I realize this DOES happen…but, when dealing with male factor infertility, it’s dreaming big. Real big.
As of this moment, I do not want to go through fertility treatments again. (I have the right to change my mind at a later date, of course….) We do not have any frozen embryos from the cycle that gave us O-man, so we would be starting fresh. It would be IVF # 3, and with NO guarantee that we would be as lucky again, I get exhausted just thinking about it.
And while we are not even close to resolving the sibling issue anytime soon, I can tell you this: I gave Mook 2 apple seeds from an apple we shared the day we got our male factor diagnosis. One of those seeds represents our blossoming handsome little boy. I still carry the other seed–and it may take some time to fully bloom, but I will nurture and care for that seed until we are ready to plant it. There is a certain garden that is catching my eye more and more each time I pass by. The seeds that have rooted here, are ones that come from all over, and are cared for by those “adopting” them into their family…