The motherless and the childless

May 8, 2010

in Infertility

This weekend, as women celebrate the mothers they are and the mothers they have, let’s take a moment to honor the childless mothers and the motherless children.

I won’t name you, but I’m thinking of you, those who are childfree not by choice. Those who, like me, are not able to create or carry life. Those who experienced neonatal or infant loss. Those who have an empty place at the dinner table. Those who placed a child into the arms of another. To all of you women who feel an ache today, I honor you.

I won’t name you, but I’m thinking of you, those who are not able to invite mom to dinner, call her on the phone, to send a card. Those who lost a beloved mothers to illness, to accident, to age, to circumstance. Those who have an empty place at the dinner table. Those who have an an unmet or distant birth mother. To all of you women who feel an ache today, I honor you.

Abiding with you and wishing you peace today.

(If you are struggling today as someone who yearns for a child, please see Pamela Tsigdinos‘ A Non-Mother’s Day in today’s New York Times magazine.)

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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

luna May 8, 2010 at 10:07 am

lovely, lori.  I can’t help but think of the same thing.


Beautiful Mess May 8, 2010 at 11:27 am

Thank you so much for this post, Lori. I’ve been really dreading mother’s day. I try really hard to put a smile on my face and make the best out of this day, but every time I hear “happy mother’s day”, I cringe and bite my lip to hold back the tears. This one holiday, is one I have a hard time getting through. I don’t need a daily reminder that I don’t have my mom here to celebreate mother’s day with. It hurts enough on a “normal” day.

Thank you so much, I truly appreciate your kind words.
My heart goes out to everyone who is motherless and childless, especially on Sunday.


Quiet Dreams May 8, 2010 at 1:13 pm

Thank you for this.


A May 8, 2010 at 1:46 pm

You are very sweet and very thoughtful…


mrs spock May 8, 2010 at 4:58 pm

Ditto here. Great post.


GeekByMarriage May 8, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Beautiful. I couldn’t have said it better (I tried really hard). 


andy May 8, 2010 at 7:30 pm

Great post Lori, so very well said.


My Reality May 8, 2010 at 7:39 pm

Beautifully said, Lori. 


battynurse May 8, 2010 at 8:31 pm

Thank you Lori.  


calliope May 8, 2010 at 8:43 pm

beautiful post.


Rhonda "Roo" May 8, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Thank you Lori.  I’ve not been lucky enough to have a family of my own.  However, I still have my Mom in my life.

Most women serve as a mother-figure in some way and deserve to be acknowledged.  

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to you and to all women.  


Erica May 9, 2010 at 8:54 am

Very well said. I too wish peace to all those aching today and every day.


caitsmom May 9, 2010 at 8:05 pm

THANK you for this. It’s so hard to help other understand how painful this day can be. I can love my mother and be so desperate for the role of motherhood I lost when my baby girl died. To know that that someone “gets it” means a great deal. Hope the day was wonderful for you. Peace.


Rachel May 9, 2010 at 8:49 pm

Thank you.  I still have my mom around, but this year has been difficult reconciling my feelings regarding going from childfree by choice to childfree by circumstance.  I couldn’t have imagined the emotions surrounding having that choice taken away from me.  (Or that it may never have been there at all.)


Kristin May 9, 2010 at 9:05 pm

What a strong, beautiful post.


Lavender Luz May 9, 2010 at 9:48 pm

I think that’s one of the hardest things, to have your choice taken away. This is why I hope that being childfree remains your choice. And that you are feeling good!


loribeth May 10, 2010 at 7:52 am

Great post, Lori. Thank you.


MLO May 10, 2010 at 8:44 am

Beautiful.  Thank-you.


Kir May 10, 2010 at 9:16 am

that was so touching…thank you for writing and sharing. You are amazing. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!


Tami May 10, 2010 at 9:43 am

This has two meanings to me this year, and you know what they are. Thank you for sitting here with me. And I, with you.


Lavender Luz May 10, 2010 at 11:50 am

XOXO. On both counts, Tami.


Kristin May 6, 2011 at 10:54 am

This is why I love you so much.


Angel G May 13, 2012 at 9:47 am

Beautiful! Thank you so much for this post.


Keiko May 13, 2012 at 10:24 am

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Thank you for this, Lori.


Sweetkaren May 13, 2012 at 10:47 am

Thank you! :)


Gil May 13, 2012 at 11:21 am

A wonderful sentiment for all those in the ALI circle who are struggling today. Sharing this on FB. Thank you Lori.


JoAnne Bennett May 13, 2012 at 11:24 am

As an adoptee, I don’t have all the answers when it comes to adoption, but I do sympathize with those “indescribable” feelings of loss and will always have a lot of admiration and compassion for those many wonderful adoptive and childless mothers Happy Mother’s Day my friend!


Maria May 13, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Beautifully said! :)


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