March 30, 2011

in Birth parent, Open Adoption

Ten years ago  I was introduced to a significant other. First we found out about each other by a mutual acquaintance, and days later we were met in person. We liked each other immediately, and sure enough those strong feelings of like soon turned into true love. Within a couple of weeks we were bonded for life.

Ten years into our open adoption

We hit a milestone this month, Crystal and I. It was 10 years ago when my husband and I got the call that she wanted to meet us. That meeting went well and set the stage for all that was to come: labor and delivery, leaving the hospital to a surprise destination (and  ignoring conventional wisdom of the day), our daughter’s first birthday, 2nd, 3rd and 4th (and so on), kindergarten graduation, dance recitals, haircuts, support.

Suddenly, Tessa is 10. I have each one of her days documented in her own set of journals. I carry in my mind’s eye snippets of her: in a flowered cutiepie toddler outfit with matching bow for her hairless head; the leg-clinging she’d do when I left her in the nursery for an hour while I taught a Geography class; the determination on her face when she decided to conquer the monkey bars; her delight in making chocolate chip cookie dough together; her early penchant for lip gloss and fingernail polish (obviously not inherited from me); her courage in the face of trauma; her inexorable joie de vivre.

I salute these two amazing ladies who have blessed me so abundantly these past 3652 days.

And counting.

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

Debbie Schwartz March 30, 2011 at 7:12 am

Happy Anniversary to all of you!


Andy March 30, 2011 at 8:13 am

Wonderful post! Happy Anniversary!!!


Kir March 30, 2011 at 8:26 am

Oh Lori, I am crying happy tears, look at those gorgeous photos and that beautiful FAMILY you have made for all of you. Happy Anniversary, Happy Birthday Tessa, and thank you for making Adoption something accessible and understandable to those of us who didn’t have a clue.


Kristin March 30, 2011 at 8:27 am

My love and admiration for yo u grew to new levels when I read the post about your surprise destination. You are amazing.

Happy Anniversary to you all!


Sheri March 30, 2011 at 8:49 am

What a great celebration for everyone.
Has it really been 10 years! Wow. Time flies.
Happy Anniversary!!


Quiet Dreams March 30, 2011 at 9:41 am

What an amazing milestone! Happy anniversary!


Tami March 30, 2011 at 9:53 am

What a wonderful tribute to three amazing girls. Happy anniversary to all of you.

PS – You forgot about the cookie dough!


Lori Lavender Luz March 31, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Thalassa March 30, 2011 at 10:13 am

A lovely story! Thanks for sharing it.


Baby Smiling In Back Seat March 30, 2011 at 10:17 am

I feel so privileged to have been there to see that joie de vivre moment.

Happy Birthday Tessa, and Happy Anniversary to all of you!


Michelle March 30, 2011 at 11:16 am

This is just awesome, Lori! Congrats on maintaining a successful relationship and Happy Anniversary. Always teaching young grasshopper here, of how great it can be! ;)


JJ March 30, 2011 at 1:52 pm

What a happy time indeed. Love that picture!


Jjiraffe March 30, 2011 at 2:55 pm

What a lovely post. I’m a little teary-eyed. Happy Ten!

P.S. LOVE your dress in the photo with Tessa.


ziggy March 30, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Awww, congratulations on 10 beautiful years, and many more to come! Happy, happy birthday T :)


Dannie March 30, 2011 at 3:20 pm

wow double digits :) Congratulations on everything including morphing with the relationships throughout these past 10 years.


JoAnne Bennett March 30, 2011 at 4:49 pm

You have what so many of us adult adoptees secretly desired, if at all possible. What a healthy way to make your daughter feel incredibly loved and blessed. I am not even jealous, but rather I applaud adults who truly consider the best interests of child.

I miss staying better in touch with you my friend.


loribeth March 30, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Happy birthday, Tessa, & happy anniversary!


a March 30, 2011 at 7:21 pm

You all look so happy in those pictures! Congratulations on 10 years of being a great mom and a good friend…and Happy Birthday Tessa!


jill March 31, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Aww… lovely post. Happy Anniversary! Look at little Tessa! :)


Barb March 31, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Happy Anniversary!


luna April 1, 2011 at 10:31 am

this is so wonderful. quite a milestone!


shannon2818 April 2, 2011 at 6:31 pm



Jamie April 5, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Happy anniversary!! And what a wonderful reminder of what open adoption can be.


St. Elsewhere April 13, 2011 at 2:05 am

Happy Birthday Tessa! (even though I am late for the day and early for your 11th)

And I am so glad that you found Crystal and she found you.


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