Cautionary tale: Why you shouldn’t let social media sites into your address book

June 17, 2011

in Excavating

Remember when the new wife of an old boyfriend emailed me to say that, No, He Would Not Be Having Coffee with Me when I was traveling to his town?

That was more than three years ago. Two weeks ago? She invited me to LinkedIn.

I deleted the invitation, like I always do. I’m not on LinkedIn.

But the invitation came a second time. And I responded thusly:

Hello, [Old Boyfriend's New Wife].

I’m quite surprised you sent me this invitation, considering that our one and only conversation led to this.


Of course, she has not responded. But I did see someone from their city peek in and read the post I’ve been longing for him to read for a very. long. time.

Thank you, LinkedIn.

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

Michelle @Gotchababy June 17, 2011 at 2:01 pm

tee hee hee. If this isn’t the perfect example of why you should always click NO, I don’t know what is!


Kristin June 17, 2011 at 2:08 pm

How did I miss that story and too funny about the LinkedIn emails.


lostintranslation June 17, 2011 at 2:20 pm

haha, I once got an invitation from someone on the French version of Linkedin (yes, of course, the French need to have their own thing – called Viadeo – even if there is now also Linkedin in French) who was only in my address book (and I in his) because I applied for a job at his company once. So I replied to him that I would happily accept the invitation, but wondered if he found me because of said job application or because I was then president of a professional women’s association. Of course he never replied…


Chris June 17, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Somehow I remember us talking about this. Re-read your previous post and am just *shocked* beyond belief that she would have the nerve to send you a LinkedIn invite? Seriously?!

Very funny story. I wonder if you’ll ever get closure? Or, do you feel you have?


HereWeGoAJen June 17, 2011 at 2:37 pm


So, do you consider it a compliment that apparently you are just that desirable that he can’t have coffee with you without ruining his marriage?


jjiraffe June 17, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Whoa! I totally remember that story. It was so funny…and odd.

That’s weird. Like, really weird.


a June 17, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Now that you’re a fancy blogger, professional connection on LinkedIn is networking and not looking into the past. That woman seems like a piece of work!

It’s kind of flattering that you’re such a threat…


St. Elsewhere June 17, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Oh, she got the point! She did!


Melissa @ Full Circle June 17, 2011 at 11:22 pm

I sure hope the “this” you sent her was the actual link to the post… because, amongst other things, she’ll read it, see the comments and realize HOW CHILDISH she was being. Like, so 12. Then she’ll refresh and read this post and the current comments. Ouch. The realization will come that you’re a ginormous writing rock star and she messed with the wrong bloggy super hero.. and now the universe knows, also…

I’ll be kind and I won’t mention what a wonderful, amazing, loving hubster Robger is.. (and he’s A FULL BLOWN HOTTIE..) because that would just be rubbing it in..


edenland June 18, 2011 at 12:22 am

Oh Loz, LOZ! I adore how that post has just been sitting there for three years, silently waiting. For now.

Do you say sucked in, over in America? Because seriously, SUCKED IN.


PS I have been thinking of you for weeks now. Hello, you beautiful Spirit.


mrs spock June 18, 2011 at 11:34 am

I remember that story! I don’t know what is odder, that interaction or this one!


marybeth i June 20, 2011 at 10:29 am

This may very well be the very best blog post…..Ever. absolutely hysterical!

LinkedIn obviously sent notifications to everyone in her address book when she opted in (you have to “Ok” it do do so). She should have checked her address book first. Well, actually she should have deleted you from her address book but she did neither.

I am sure she loved your last email as much as you loved her first one…{giggle}


Kir June 21, 2011 at 9:25 am

you know you are a HOTTIE, I’d ban “Paul” from you too.

(NAH, I wouldn’t…you’re amazing!!!! but you know what I mean right??? ;)


Melissa Taylor June 21, 2011 at 4:23 pm

crazy lady – maybe they’re divorced already?


battynurse June 22, 2011 at 2:00 am

Hmm. Very odd. People can be seriously strange though.


Jenny - Sugar Loco June 22, 2011 at 6:23 am

whoa! i am clicking over now to read the initial post…you’ve got me intrigued.


Connie Weiss June 22, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Maybe….her marriage is on the skids and she’d like someone to take him off from her hands.



quiet dreams June 26, 2011 at 4:03 pm

I also remember that post. I agree with others that you and Robger both are full.blown hotties… ;)


excavator October 21, 2012 at 8:27 pm

(Not-so-instant) Karma’s going to get you….


Sheri September 6, 2013 at 12:03 pm

That’s funny. “Internet / Social Media Karma.” Ha Ha!

Serves him (and her) right.


Carol Cassara September 6, 2013 at 12:04 pm

Well, I get it, sort of. While I was in touch with my 1st ex husb periodically via email, when I visited his town, he refused coffee, a tinge of fear in his voice. Fast fwd 20 years. His wife at the time died and he and I remarried after 27 years divorced. So, I get it. Yes, memoir in progress.


Chris Bird September 6, 2013 at 12:08 pm

Hee hee! What goes around eventually comes around!


JoAnne Bennett September 6, 2013 at 12:19 pm

Thank you; I needed a good laugh today :).


loribeth September 6, 2013 at 12:20 pm

I remember that post!! Not sure why I didn’t comment then. But now I will have Carly Simon in my head for the rest of the day — thanks for the earworm, & the laugh!! lol Too funny!!

This is why I never allow any site access to my e-mail address book…


Cheryl September 6, 2013 at 1:20 pm

Hey Luz, The next time you’re passing through my city, I’d gladly go for coffee with you, AND I’ll even bring my husband with me. We can do a threesome!


St. E September 6, 2013 at 10:35 pm

LinkedIn mails invitations to EVERYONE in the address-book. The loving wife must have had your email address in her address-book.

I hope she is feeling pretty embarrassed.


Torrejon September 7, 2013 at 6:41 am

The best part of this subtle revenge is that she did it to herself. Love it!


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