VIPs: Very Important Posts from December 2011

January 9, 2012

in Adoption, Very Important Posts

Very Important PostsBelow is a collection of posts from the past month that have made me think long after I read them.  You may already be acquainted with these writers; whether you are or not, I encourage you to click over to see if these posts are meaningful to you, too.

It Is What It Is makes a connection in Family Health History Checklist between the trauma her newly-contacted birth mother experienced when she placed decades ago and the trauma that the author experienced in a horrific accident at age 11 (warning: I missed much of my son’s basketball game one night because I made the mistake of opening her posts on my smartphone during a time out and then couldn’t put it down after the game resumed). Great insights on how trauma, whether from an car accident or the loss of a child, can stunt one’s emotional growth, and how therapy can jump start growth again.

And as a testament to the power of her storytelling, I’m spotlighting another post by It Is What It Is, 8 Minutes. It left my heart pounding and my adrenalin pumping. Losing a child — even for a moment or 8 — can turn a world upside down.

Jenn of Insert Bad Movie Title Here tells the importance of Honesty in adoption reunion on the site Lost Daughters. She explains how the reunion with her birth mom has not gone well, largely to them not being able to be honest with each other. This raw post will reinforce for anyone who chooses open adoption that NOT having to navigate reunion is a huge gift we give our children.

In The Knot of the Tree,  Angie of Still Life With Circles abides her grief, three years after the death of her newborn daughter, Lucia. She abides her healing, too: It feels like I can count my grief in rings. The years of famine and grief and withering mark me, gnarled and grey. I looked dead once, but I am green again. And her 4 year-old daughter Beezus has some wise words about her lost sister, too, that will make you want to hug a tree.

Sideshow Barb, who placed her son with adoptive parents 14 years ago, responds to the latest Open Adoption Roundtable post, What did you learn about OA in 2011?  She reveals how she finally feels whole after many years of brokenness, in which she compartmentalized her life around her son’s adoption. Finally, at 38, I discovered that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.  My Jr High math teacher would be proud.  Aristotle, too.  And my therapist. It’s a wonderful state in which to begin her new year.

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Be on the lookout for what you consider Very Important Posts during the month of January — I’d love to know your nominations for the next edition of VIPs.

 

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Jenn January 9, 2012 at 8:09 am

Thanks for mention! I look forward to reading the other posts on this list :-)

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barb January 9, 2012 at 11:57 am

WOW! thank you so much!

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It Is What It Is January 9, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Thanks for the shout out. I am still awaiting a response to letter #2 to my birth mother but you can be sure I will blog about it when I receive it.

I have learned so much about the devastating emotional and physical affects of trapped trauma. There has been so much healing as a result.

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