Perfect Moment Monday: Good enough?

Tessa was quite nervous to start her new school year. She hadn’t slept well the night before because she’d wrestled with demons: Would her new grade be too hard? Would she be accepted?  Would she have what she needs? Would she do the right things, wear the right things, say the right things? And the most insidious demon of all — Am I good enough?

Tessa woke up with a stomach ache and an inability to focus on getting ready.  As I walked her and her brother toward the school, I addressed her anxiety.

“Sweetie, I know that by the time you come home today, you’re going to be beaming. You’re going to tell me how wonderfully your day went, how you are so happy to be where you are. How prepared you are, how everything clicked for you.”

“Do you really think so, Mom?” she asked. “I hope you’re right but I’m afraid you won’t be.”

“I know I’m right. Mom’s know.”

And I did. Hours later, she beamed, she chattered happily as she recounted her triumphant day, things clicked for her.

My next stop was my yoga mat. After my yoga class, I planned to return to my book manuscript, due soon, the one that I’d put aside for much of the summer. In about a week I will move from the private activity of writing to the collaborative effort of editing.

The yoga teacher warmed us up and eventually guided us into Firelog pose (agnistambhasana) — a deep hip opener. I found I was tighter than usual. As I breathed through the pose, I could feel energy and matter stuck.

My demons.

Our teacher left us in the pose long enough (each side got a turn) for me to tune in to my own fears and blockages.  Like Tessa, I was afraid of making a transition, of leaving behind what was within my comfort zone and revealing myself to The New. Would my work be deemed acceptable? Would I prove to have what it takes? Would I be able to say and do the right things in this next stage of my book’s journey? Am I good enough?

Soon I will share my so-far private project with a critic — my editor. Of course, the end-step will be to share it with the world (or an adoption corner of it). My impending steps toward increased vulnerability triggered low-level anxiety, much like my daughter experienced.

I inhaled these insights and exhaled release. The tension in my hips began to soften and eventually unknot. With each breath I was able to ease more deeply into the pose.

A yoga class.At the end of class as I lay in savasana, a pose of complete relaxation and release, I experienced the perfect a-ha! moment. The words I used to calm  Tessa could also be used to calm me.  I will get this manuscript turned in. Chances are I will end up beaming and things will go wonderfully (and if not, I will deal with that). I am prepared for the next stage of my book journey and I bet I’ll be just as content and competent in my new phase as I’ve been in my old one.

I am enough.

Moms know. I know.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

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Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.

On the last Monday of each month we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. The next Perfect Moment Monday event will begin September 24.

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17 thoughts on “Perfect Moment Monday: Good enough?”

  1. Mums do know, and you will be enough just like your daughter. You’ll breathe through the edits and hold on for the ride. And months after publication, you’ll have a moment where you realize that you did it. That it’s all going fine and you’re past all the hurdles.

  2. I know too – you’ll be great. This time next year, you’ll probably be wondering what you were so anxious about!

    Our homework this week is to decorate a sun and describe areas where our little ones shine. So as I was making a list for my daughter to choose from, I would ask her what she thought she was good at and whether she was good at other things. She is reading amazingly well (for just having started kindergarten, but probably on track for her age), but I had to tell her that she’s a really good reader. Specific positive feedback is very important; moreso than just telling her she’s doing a great job. Lesson learned, message received.

  3. You are enough, more than enough, my friend.

    I loved this line in your post: “I inhaled these insights and exhaled release.”

    So proud of you, Tessa and everyone who shows up, tries to do their best and then is able to recognize these perfect moments in their midst.

    Thank you for hosting Perfect Moment Mondays and giving us this forum to share and celebrate what we are grateful for this month together.

  4. you are MORE than enough!
    I love how you conquered your demons and experienced your perfect moment of calm. now you’re well prepared for the next task of sharing your labor of love and shaping it up to share with the world.

    (which reminds me, I think I still owe you an email. oops! will dig for it now. xo)

  5. So exciting that you are almost onto the next stage of your project! I loved that you could relate your anxiety to your daughter’s and that you are able to take your own advice. I sometimes find that very hard to do. I’m sure that just like your daughter, you will shine.

  6. You are both much more than enough. I loved these words “The words I used to calm Tessa could also be used to calm me.” So glad you were able to find the peace to calm your own anxiety in the way you were to calm T’s as well.

    So excited for the progress with your book.

  7. I had a perfect moment with my daughter JUST LIKE this today. She was having trouble with a roommate, as I gave her advice, I was able to use the advice for myself. Avoid the drama –avoid the gossip–say only what needs to be said–express where you are uncomfortable..move on. Thanks for paralleling me today Lori! I enjoyed your blog!

  8. I love, too, that you were able to remember and listen to your own advice. You are so much more than enough … but sometimes, that’s exactly what our hearts need to hear. So beautiful. Thank you for this Perfect Monday Moment!

  9. You know that you will be and are at this moment enough. You know that because you are all that you can be at any given moment and that simply is enough.

    Life is way too short to wonder if we are good enough, smart enough, pretty enough or whatever enough…we are what we are and we do the best we can with that and that my new friend, is enough. ♥

  10. You are most definitely good enough. You are an excellent writer. And I can’t WAIT to read your book.

    I had a very similar conversation with my daughter about tomorrow, her first day of school. She’s so nervous because she’s not going to be in the same class as her friends.

  11. Supta Baddha Konasana – as shown in your picture – is my favorite pose. I feel both regal and at peace. I’ve been doing some fertility yoga thanks to a DVD that Esperanza sent me, and it’s been doing wonders for my stress level as we approach our cycle. I love how it connects you so deeply into your sense of bodily knowing and wisdom. And I’m glad that you too, are connecting to that knowing and wisdom – and ultimately strength – within you.

    How exciting as you move into the editorial phase of your book. I’m mesmerized and excited for you!

  12. You will be great!

    Am I good enough? I am living that question everyday. I do not know how, but the day ends finally, and we get on-board for the next one.

    I am glad you were able to ease Tessa’s mind.

What say you?