All posts by Lori Holden

Lori Holden blogs at LavenderLuz.com and is the author of the highly-acclaimed guide, "The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption." She lives in Denver with her husband and two teenagers; hence, she is fond of yoga and red wine.

How Apt are You to Use this Adoption App?

Maybe you’ve already heard about it. People involved in adoption are buzzing about it. It’s a new app called Adoptly, billed as “a better way to adopt.”

It’s already been dubbed The Tinder of Adoption, and as you can imagine, that has not gone over well in online adoption communities (at least not in the ones that I frequent). Swiping for children? Many have a gut response — even a gag response — to that idea. But why? I was curious within myself.

Adoptly is news now because it launched a Kickstarter campaign, including an explanatory video, to bring its app to market. At the time of writing, it has raised about 3% of its target goal of $150,000.

UPDATE: Adoptly’s Kickstarter campaign suspended.

I try to remain open to something unfamiliar, to suspend judgment about it until I’ve had a chance to research it, sit with it, and examine at it from lots of angles. Regarding this adoption app, I did so with my friend Anne Heffron, an adoptee and fellow explorer.

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Reforming Adoption at Your Level

Imagine a glorious time in the future when all desired adoption laws are passed and all adoption arrangements are codified. Won’t it be great to be finished with the hard work of adoption reform?

reforming adoption

While changes in adoption laws and policy are necessary, these alone will not make Adoption World all better. If laws were the endpoints, then the passage of the 13th, 14th and 15th amendments would have resulted in immediate equality and justice for free and formerly enslaved African Americans — but it didn’t. Now, even 150 years later, our society struggles with these same issues.

Continue reading Reforming Adoption at Your Level

Adoption on Screen: “This is Us” and “Lion” Give New Focus

My daughter told us the other night of a time in middle school when she shared with  two teachers her complex feelings about being adopted. Yes, I really love my family, she reported as they nodded sympathetically.  But also, she continued, being adopted sometimes sucks.

The sympathetic nodding ended.

Oh, you don’t mean that! one teacher told her. The other tag-teamed: Look where you ended up. Your parents are awesome! (why thank you).

My daughter was mad at the time about her feelings being invalidated, about being told she should feel differently than she feels. She was angry that someone who doesn’t know adoption first hand corrected her about her actual experience.

As far as I can tell, neither of those teachers — one in her 30s and one in her 50s — has a direct connection to adoption. So how are they qualified to speak so authoritatively on it?

You Don’t Have to Be in Adoption to Know Adoption. Duh.

Everyone knows about adoption, right? We see it in the movies and we see it on TV and we see stories about the movies and TV shows in People magazine while we wait at the hair salon or dentist.

adoption in this is us on tv and lion movie

Continue reading Adoption on Screen: “This is Us” and “Lion” Give New Focus