Category Archives: Answer me this

Duel: Self-improvement vs self-acceptance

Now that 2012 New Years resolutions are either newly adopted habits or roadkill in the rearview, I’ve been thinking about the lengths we go — or should go — to better ourselves.

Like many, I am also often faced with small (or large) changes I’d like to make in myself.

  • The small: Shall I color my hair? Whiten my teeth?  Firm up my belly?
  • There’s the more intensive/expensive/invasive –shall I have spider veins on my legs removed?  Some of my girlfriends are talking about having “work done” — shall I  consider that?
  • Shifting from physical traits, should I aim to be a more attentive mom? A better homemaker?

Or, in each case, would be be better to accept What Is? Do I simply sabotage myself when I see parts of me that are half-empty when they could very well be half-full, good enough? Is it a duel or a dual?

When dealing with something you don’t like about yourself, what percentage of your efforts should go into changing it and what percentage should go into accepting it?

Are there different scenarios that have different rules? For example, a personality trait vs a physical trait? Easy to fix vs difficult to fix?

What is a healthy way to approach this dilemma?

How do you know whether you should change What Is or learn to like What Is?

Note: This is part of my Answer me this series and, as such, I am not actually looking for advice  (I’m way too skeered for plastic surgery). Rather, I’m wondering about the decision-making process you use in your own self-improvement/acceptance duality.