What is it like when your daughter places your granddaughter for adoption? Mary Jo Bennett shares what the journey has been like for her.
The Ambivalence of a Mother-Slash-Birth-Grandmother
When your first grandchild is born into an open adoption, it’s not easy. Many of the landmarks of becoming a grandmother are skewed. Right out of the gate, when your child tells you she is pregnant and planning an adoption, you enter into a sea of ambivalence and uncertainty. What do you feel? How do you respond? If a part of you wants your child to keep the baby in the family, how strongly do you advocate for this? And do you have the right to even advocate at all? Continue reading “I am a Birth Grandmother Walking the Open Adoption Trail”
Question: Can you talk about open adoption for foster kids who have been abused? We are about to adopt Daughter through foster care and there has been severe and repeated abuse. Birth Dad was the abuser and is in jail for it, and we’re not sure how to proceed with Birth Mom. By court order, Daughter hasn’t seen her in months, possibly a year by the time the adoption is final. I’m concerned about Birth Mom’s lack of understanding of the severity of the situation and her lack of concern for the safety and welfare of Daughter. — Kate
Guest advising today is Addison Cooper, LCSW, of Adoption at the Movies. Addison is a supervising social worker for a foster care/adoption agency, and he lives in Southern California.
Dear Kate: It’s wonderful that you’re starting from a position of wanting to be open. In any adoption, the ideal and desired outcome is a healthy openness — to the degree possible. Continue reading How to Have Openness in a Foster Adoption