Category Archives: Birth parent

Open Adoption on Trial: Amy Seek’s “God and Jetfire”

Note: Though tempting, please do not comment on the headline only, without reading the full post.

Recent publicity for Amy Seek’s new memoir, God and Jetfire: Confessions of a Birth Mother seems to have put open adoption on trial.

Amy Seek, a landscape architect and writer living in London, gives readers an account of her unintended pregnancy 15 years ago, her selection of parents for her son, and the complex — even competing — emotions she experienced during and after placement with her son and with his adoptive parents.

At first I’d envisioned this post with a courtroom-type presentation of the two sides. It might start something like this.

amy seek's god and jetfire: open adoption on trial

Amy Seek’s Vogue Article: Defending Open Adoption

Court is now in session *gaveltap*. The defense may present its case [we switch things up around here].

Defense: Your honor, we call  the first witness —  a Vogue article, adapted from God and Jetfire — titled  “One Writer on Helping to Raise Her Son in an ‘Open’ Adoption.” Continue reading Open Adoption on Trial: Amy Seek’s “God and Jetfire”

When the Birth Dad Says He’s Not

Question: My spouse and I believe in openness in adoption and are practicing it in all ways possible. With the birth mother’s side of the family, it has worked out in a way that suits all of us.

The birth father in this case refuses to acknowledge paternity. The twins are now at an age (6 years old) where they are curious about their birth father. I have told them I do not know much, which is the truth. I am looking for advice from folks who have walked this path on how to go about making children understand the truth of their situation?       — Laila

open adoption advice

Birds and Bees

Dear Laila: Your kids are young so you’ll need to keep it simple for now. Have you had the “birds and bees” talk with them yet? It will come up with birth father talk, as they go hand-in-hand. Continue reading When the Birth Dad Says He’s Not