Category Archives: Ethics in adoption

Reforming Adoption at Your Level

Imagine a glorious time in the future when all desired adoption laws are passed and all adoption arrangements are codified. Won’t it be great to be finished with the hard work of adoption reform?

reforming adoption

While changes in adoption laws and policy are necessary, these alone will not make Adoption World all better. If laws were the endpoints, then the passage of the 13th, 14th and 15th amendments would have resulted in immediate equality and justice for free and formerly enslaved African Americans — but it didn’t. Now, even 150 years later, our society struggles with these same issues.

Continue reading Reforming Adoption at Your Level

#NotInTheBrochure: A Plan to Make Adoption World Better

Nobody Told Us

Have you heard this from a birth parent?

  • No one told me it would hurt this much for this long.
  • No one told me how much I would see myself in my child.
  • No one told me how my feelings would fluctuate over time.
  • They told me about open adoption, but no one told me how hard it would be to navigate these relationships and feelings.

Or this from an adoptive parent?

  • Wasn’t it supposed to be easy if we adopted at birth? No one told us there could still be issues of loss and grief.
  • No one told me how much I would want my child to have his/her whole story.
  • No one told me parenting by adoption would be different from parenting by biology. In fact, we were told the opposite, that it was exactly the same.
  • No one told me I would be open to so many people loving this child.

notinthebrochure

Continue reading #NotInTheBrochure: A Plan to Make Adoption World Better

Yes, We DO Need Adoption-Competent Hospital Birthing Centers

Hospitals continually strive to improve so many aspects of patient care. What improvements are being made in the way we “do” adoption at the hospital?

Pioneered in Colorado at Parker Adventist Hospital, the Family to Family Support Network is going national in helping families create child-centered open adoptions from the very beginning, through adoption training in hospital labor and delivery wards.
is your hospital adoption competent?
Here is an interview with founder Rebecca Vahle on why she’s made it her mission* that more and more hospitals serve EVERYONE involved in a possible adoption situation more effectively.

Continue reading why this program is necessary for nurses, for adopting parents, for women and men in unplanned pregnancies, for babies, and for hospital administrators and stakeholders — and what you can do to bring it to your local hospital.

* I am so stoked about Family to Family’s mission that I have recently joined its board of directors.

baby born at adoption competent hospital

Does Open Adoption Work?

My last post touched on the debate spurred by publicity for Amy Seek’s new memoir, God and Jetfire: Confessions of a Birth Mother. I started with a courtroom scene but decided to go this route instead. (You don’t have to have read that book to get this post.)

Rorschach Test

I see the debate about God and Jetfire as a sort of Rorschach test — people see in it what they bring to it. If you think adoption is a blessing, you think Amy Seek was brave. If you see adoption as abhorrent, you think Amy Seek made an unnatural choice and that she’s paid the consequences through regret over the years.

does open adoption work? it's a rorschach test.

And if you see adoption as infinitely complex, Continue reading Does Open Adoption Work?