I’m craving stillness as we in the United States near the end of this particularly contentious election season. Stillness takes us from the frenetic edge of the spinning sphere to the still center, to our core.
Stillness is how we bring unity from duality.
And I don’t know about you, but boy, have I been feeling duality, polarization, split-at-the-seams. It’s uncomfortable.
I yearn for the opposite.
This post is part of #MicroblogMondays? Whazzat? A post that’s not too long. Head to Stirrup Queens to join the fun.
Lesli Johnson, author of the helpful and repeatedly viral post, 10 Things Adoptess WantYou to Know, is flipping the script today. Adopted people are taking over the microphone in this space during November for National Adoption Awareness Month.
Image: Tracy Hammond
What Adoptees Do
During a recent presentation at an adoption conference, I had attendees participate in a quick exercise. I asked them to walk around the room and find the person they thought they most closely looked like. The room instantly filled with nervous laughter as the participants met each others’ gaze, searching for facial similarities. After a few minutes I had them take their seats and we talked about what that experience was like.
I explained that this is what adoptees often do. They walk through the world, searching for their lost “twin” or someone they resemble. Like the little bird in the popular children’s book, adoptees look at others and wonder: Are you my mother?
Continue reading #flipthescript 8: Adoptees Are In Reunion Whether They’re Searching or Not
Anne Heffron, author of the newly-released must-read memoir You Don’t Look Adopted, kicks of this year’s #flipthescript series, in which adoptees take over the microphone.
Image: Tracy Hammond
So Why Was I Crying?
I am going to visit some of my birth father’s family for the first time next week and my family is letting me go. No one is saying they are afraid they will lose me. No one is saying they wish I’d just be happy with the family I have. No one is saying they are afraid I will like the new family better than my old family. They don’t seem to care. They never call. And that makes me think that maybe, just as I suspected, maybe I was never a “real” Heffron after all even though I feel real, and sometimes I feel numbly sad when I think about where I am now: in this gray area between families–I don’t seem to squarely belong in either.
Continue reading #flipthescript 7: Hold On
Parenting By Adoption (Any Type!)
I have an article featured in the current issues of Adoptive Families magazine titled Parenting With an Open Heart. (It’s currently accessible for free with or without subscription.)
When I speak with adoptive parents through workshops and webinars, especially those who came to adoption through the international or foster routes, I sense such a craving for openness — even when contact with birth family is not possible.
Continue reading Parenting in Adoption