What is it like when your daughter places your granddaughter for adoption? Mary Jo Bennett shares what the journey has been like for her.
The Ambivalence of a Mother-Slash-Birth-Grandmother
When your first grandchild is born into an open adoption, it’s not easy. Many of the landmarks of becoming a grandmother are skewed. Right out of the gate, when your child tells you she is pregnant and planning an adoption, you enter into a sea of ambivalence and uncertainty. What do you feel? How do you respond? If a part of you wants your child to keep the baby in the family, how strongly do you advocate for this? And do you have the right to even advocate at all? Continue reading “I am a Birth Grandmother Walking the Open Adoption Trail”
In Greek mythology, Fate has three aspects who manage a mortal’s thread of life. Clotho spins the thread, Lachesis measures it, and Atropos cuts it with her shears.
(I was introduced to the Three Fates via the fantasy series, The Incarnations of Immortality. Book 3 was among a handful of thousands of books I’ve read that left an enduring imprint.)
Similarly Hindu culture presents the Trimurti of Brahma the Creator, Vishnu the Sustainer, and Shiva the Destroyer, or Transformer.
I am Lachesis. I am Vishnu. I can keep things new like nobody’s business. Continue reading Sustainer vs Destroyer
Tuesday’s Horror was Preceded by Monday Night Football
I went to bed feeling sick the night of September 10, 2001. My sports hero was Ed McCaffrey, #87 and Denver Broncos wide-receiver, general nice guy and spectacular athlete. During that night’s Monday Night Football game against the NY Giants (boo!) Eddie Mac had suffered a broken leg. “In sustaining the injury, he made a spectacular catch and did not fumble the ball.”
I had trouble sleeping that night, reviewing in my mind over and over again the play that made my own leg hurt, made me ache for Mr McCaffrey, as well as his wife and children who surely saw it happen. I must have finally gotten to sleep because I then slept through my alarm and was late to work. Still feeling bleargh about poor Eddie Mac, I loaded 5 month-old Tessa into the car to drop her off at my mom’s on my way downtown.
The comedy radio show I listened to was uncharacteristically somber. The DJs were known for doing some wild stunts, but pretending that two planes had hit the twin towers was unthinkable, even for them. Continue reading 9/11, Ed McCaffrey, Stephen Covey & Me
My last post touched on the debate spurred by publicity for Amy Seek’s new memoir, God and Jetfire: Confessions of a Birth Mother. I started with a courtroom scene but decided to go this route instead. (You don’t have to have read that book to get this post.)
I see the debate about God and Jetfire as a sort of Rorschach test — people see in it what they bring to it. If you think adoption is a blessing, you think Amy Seek was brave. If you see adoption as abhorrent, you think Amy Seek made an unnatural choice and that she’s paid the consequences through regret over the years.
And if you see adoption as infinitely complex, Continue reading Does Open Adoption Work?