“Just Adopt”

I occasionally read the lament of people being told “just adopt” while in the depths their infertility losses. Here’s an article by Sarah Kelly from the November/December 2007 issue of Adoptive Families that speaks eloquently to this issue.

Not sure of the proper netiquette, so I’ll just include a teaser and then a link to the rest…


I recently had lunch with a friend who’s about to embark on her first in vitro fertilization. She needed to vent; I was happy to share. Like two soldiers, we traded war stories, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. We compared notes on the clueless things people say when they are frustrated because you haven’t had a baby yet.

Like that time, a few years ago, when I was having a grand time at a party, trying to forget—or drown—my worries. An old friend approached me, wanting to know why I didn’t have kids yet. She informed me that I had better start trying soon, so that I wouldn’t end up having to inject myself with rounds of fertility drugs. How horrible it would be if my life came to that! (It had already come to that, but thanks for the warning.)

For the full article, please click here.

4 thoughts on ““Just Adopt””

  1. “But at the same time, it’s because I made sure I wasn’t using adoption as a replacement for having a biological child. Adoption is separate from infertility. It isn’t the answer. In fact, the only aspect that unites the two in my mind is the common desired result: to be a parent.I don’t know what to think about the above quote. I know DE isn’t the same as adoption, but it shares some traits. Would it help if I thought of DE as separate from having a genetic child instead of it’s replacement? I love that she is so happy in the end and seemingly at peace in the end.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, I really can’t wait to read your old blog.Love that article. I recently had one of my husband’s drunk aunts ask me when I was going to have a kid. She’s knows we’re struggling with infertility. Drunk or not, it was just plain rude.

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