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Book Tour: Moose

I’ve learned that the phrase “summer camp” means something different, depending on where you live.

Where I grew up (and live now), it is synonymous with “day camp.” Kids go in the morning and come home in the afternoon.

On the east coast, it seems to mean that kids go in June and come home in August.

Which makes me want to move closer to the Atlantic Ocean. Hehe.

I was intrigued to read about a summer at a fat camp — for the summer part as much as for the fat part. Moose, by blogger Stephanie Klein, is the latest book discussed by the Barren Bi+ches Book Brigade.

Each of us in this bloggy book club choose from a list of questions. You don’t have to be in the club to read along, nor is it a prerequisite to have read the book — the themes here are universal.

Stephanie Klein writes “Years later I’d feel slightly superior because I’d once been fat. …when asked if I’d change my past if I could, I think for a moment and always answer no. There’s something…that just makes it mildly worth it. Because a sensitivity is tattooed on a part of you no one else can see but can somehow guess is there. It’s always with you.”How do you relate to this with regards to infertility?

I, also, would not change my past. I am too content where I am to ever want a different outcome. Infertility has brought me so many blessings: my children, new friends (you know who you are), a richness and depth to my life, mindfulness, strength.

So I would take it a step further from what Stephanie says and change “mildly” to “completely.” Without going through the IF fire, my life would have been mundane, boring, run-of-the-mill, sheltered. I would not appreciate what I have to the degree that I do.

I did more than survive it. I thrived. IF gave so much more than it took from me.

***

How did it make you feel when Stephanie’s dad laughed at her being called a ‘Moose’? Were you parents/guardians supportive of you during hard times/bullying/weight issues or did they just laugh at you like Stephanie’s father?

I got teased about the stupidest things. My ears were too big — I was called Bat. That wasn’t so bad, really, because the alternative was being a Nobody (which I was except for the Bat episode).

My dad’s advice when the Bat talk started? First he consoled me, and then he told me to meet the teasing head-on, to disempower the Meanies. So when Mrs Knepper told us 5th graders to choose any animal we wanted to do an oral report on, guess what I chose. I still remember looking out at the Meanies with a tiny feeling of triumph as I spoke about the nocturnal lives of bats.

And then there was the asthma incident, also aided by Dad.

Dad was a loving force at helping me reclaim my power. I cringed when Stephanie’s father not only didn’t console/advise her, but also joined the pile-on!

***

In the first chapter, Klein talks about her reluctance to gain weight during her twin pregnancy as a result of her childhood obesity. How have body image issues affected you during infertility? Pregnancy? Post-pregnancy?

The issues I’ve struggled with are not weight or pregnancy, but functionality. For so much of my life, my body hasn’t worked the way it was “supposed to.” It has been a challenge for me to love this body, because for so many years, I felt it let me down time and time again.

Infertility was the final straw. It confirmed that I’d gotten a lemon. WHERE’S THE WARRANTY? I WANT A REPLACEMENT! Too many parts are faulty. The manufacturer sucks.

The path to loving my body has been a long one. What has helped me love my body and its manufacturer anew include: blogging — specifically the mindfulness and gratitude required by Perfect Moment Mondays, yoga, Ethel, being a mom, and the passage of time.

***

Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at Stirrup Queens . You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: It Sucked, And Then I Cried by Heather Armstrong (aka Dooce).

Note: Perfect Moment Monday will go up at 7 am (MDT) on Monday.

13 Responses

  1. Your dad sounds great! What a smart solution, to do a report on bats. I’ll have to remember that one.

    I used to consider my body a lemon as well, until I heard an NPR story awhile back in which an old man talked about how much he loved his body as it was falling apart and thanked it for all that it had done for him. I love that attitude, and try to feel that way, too.

  2. It is great that your dad was very supportive of you and your bullying. I asked that question about Stephanie’s dad as it hit home to me as my family were not very supportive of me and my bullying.

  3. As I said on Mel’s blog, I struggled with the whole idea of my struggle with IF being “worth it.” Because of course, I did not come out of it with a child. There is much good that has come out of that struggle, of course, as you point out, but was it worth the struggle in the end, to wind up where I am today? I’m having a hard time with that one. I have a good life today, but who’s to say my life would have been worse or better, had I had children? I will always wonder about that road not travelled.

  4. I also love that you did a report on bats. Giving a child confidence is one of the best things a parent can do!

    I think about body image all the time. I’m most concerned for my twin daughters who, at 13 months, already have very different bodies. I want them to love themselves and know that it starts with me learning to love myself.

  5. As I said on Mel’s blog, I struggled with the whole idea of my struggle with IF being “worth it.” Because of course, I did not come out of it with a child. There is much good that has come out of that struggle, of course, as you point out, but was it worth the struggle in the end, to wind up where I am today? I’m having a hard time with that one. I have a good life today, but who’s to say my life would have been worse or better, had I had children? I will always wonder about that road not travelled.

  6. I also love that you did a report on bats. Giving a child confidence is one of the best things a parent can do!

    I think about body image all the time. I’m most concerned for my twin daughters who, at 13 months, already have very different bodies. I want them to love themselves and know that it starts with me learning to love myself.

  7. I love the role that blogging has played in finding that love with something else (the body).

    And this line kicked ass:

    “I did more than survive it. I thrived. IF gave so much more than it took from me.”

    You, actually, are the one who kicks ass, but I love that attitude.

  8. “the manufacturer sucks.” I love this line!

    also, how wonderful that you can say infertility gave more than it took. just fantastic.

  9. The rest of your body must have caught up with your ears. I have never once noticed your ears as anything close to bat-like.

    There are sleepaway camps west of the Rockies, FYI. Personally my shortest camp was 1 week — no need for laundry! I never went anywhere for more than 5 weeks, which I think is plenty. DH had camp experiences that were entire summers both east and west of the Rockies, and insists that no matter where you are or how long you go, being a counselor is way better than being a camper.

  10. Thanks for stopping by. I agree that it is not a good place for me to be in. I have always wanted to be liked and try hard to be liked. I have to say though, this is no where near as bad as it once was when I was in my teens. I manage to control this most of the time and realise I am a good person. If people dont like me it is there loss not mine. It does take a lot of training on my behalf.
    I think a lot of it is due to my bullyinga nd my mum telling me I was fat for so many years. My wonderful DH has has helped me through though.

  11. I realized, after Gabe’s death, that I would have to forgive my body for killing my son. And it was and is hard. It’s a process, and I appreciate the reminder that it is possible.

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