Category Archives: Adoptee

Articles that explore the viewpoint of adoptees, as well as ideas of special concern to parents who are raising an adopted child.

Her Letter Hurts! When a Birth Mom Rejects Her Daughter

Question: I was adopted back in the day and I finally tracked down my birth mother, now 85. My worst fears were realized when she rejected me a second time. I was so hopeful to finally hear from her, but her letter has put me in such pain.

Do you mind reading this and giving me your perspective? Everyone I have shared it with, my family and close friends, have their opinions but none of them have any experience with adoption. I would love to read comments from your readers as I am sure it would be therapeutic.

One more thing. I requested a picture of my mother when she was young and one now, plus medical and ancestry information. She sent me one recent picture with my half brother. I certainly would have appreciated answers to my specific health questions.

— Jill

adoptee rejected by birth mother

Continue reading Her Letter Hurts! When a Birth Mom Rejects Her Daughter

#flipthescript 15: No Easy Button in Adoption

Tracy Hammond is a baby scoop era adoptee and adoptee rights activist. This is her second post here in this #flipthescript series (the first: Why Are Adoptees Doing It?),  in which adopted people take over the microphone in this space for November’s National Adoption Awareness Month.

You may not agree with everything that is said in these #flipthescript posts. You may even find parts of these posts hard to read. But I believe there is value in listening, in being willing to see a viewpoint different from your own, in uncovering your own triggers and fears, in understanding how adoption is experienced by some people.

adoptees flipthescriptImage: Tracy Hammond

A Lamentable List

L’Wren Scott, 50
Emilie Olsen, 13
Charlotte Dawson, 48
Continue reading #flipthescript 15: No Easy Button in Adoption

#flipthescript 14: Adoption & Eating Disorders

Jodi Haywood returns for the third November in a row (2014 post | 2015 post) to participate in the #flipthscript movement, in which adopted people take over the microphone in this space for November’s National Adoption Awareness Month.

You may not agree with everything that is said in these #flipthescript posts. You may even find parts of these posts hard to read. But I believe there is value in listening, in being willing to see a viewpoint different from your own, in uncovering your own triggers and fears.

adoptees flipthescriptImage: Tracy Hammond

But of Course

There seem to be several topics frequently discussed among adoptees, within private adoptee circles, which when brought up cause the majority of the group to nod our heads in understanding and think, yes, we could put our collective heads together and write a book on this subject.

Yet when we bring up the same topic with adoptive parents, they seem amazed that we connect it with adoption at all. Continue reading #flipthescript 14: Adoption & Eating Disorders

#flipthescript 13: Healing & Hope for an Adoptee

The subtitle of Anne Bauer’s memoir is An Adoptee’s Quest for her Origins because one of the main reasons she wrote The Sound of Hope was to “get people to realize how damaging it is to make adoptees feel guilty when they want to know about their origins.”

Three years ago, we wrapped up her book tour, and today I’m republishing an interview with memoirist and adoption reformer Anne Bauer as part of the #flipthescript series, in which adoptees take over the mic.

adoptees flipthescriptImage: Tracy Hammond

NJ Adoptees Can Soon Get Their Original Birth Certificates!

Sound of Hope adoptee memoirAre you still an active champion for the rights of adopted persons, specifically original birth certificates and open records?

Yes! I keep in contact with NJCARE (NJ Coalition for Adoption Reform & Education) which is a grass roots organization that supports honesty in adoption through educational outreach and legislative advocacy. I’m pleased to report that “persons born in New Jersey and adopted within or beyond its bounds, or persons born elsewhere and adopted in New Jersey, age 18 and over, will be allowed access to a copy of their original birth certificate from January 1, 2017, forward” (source). Continue reading #flipthescript 13: Healing & Hope for an Adoptee