Brad Ewell shares Field Notes with Adoptive Parents
Dear Readers –especially those of you who are adoptive parents — do I have a treat for you!
I’m pleased that so many of you raised your hands in support of adoptees having their whole truth about the earliest chapters of their lives! And that so many of you have been raving about episode 403 of Adoption: The Long View.
So when guest Brad Ewell asked how he might reach more and more adopting/adoptive parents with his views about truth and honesty in adoption, I jumped at the chance to hand him a mic.
Starting with this post, Brad Ewell will have a regular column here, sharing his thoughts and responding to your questions of him as an adult adoptee. Are you trying to figure out whether, when, and how to tell your child a troubling piece of their story? Curious to run an idea by him? Do you seek insight into how an adoptee processes difficult information?
While Brad is not a therapist, he is a father of three, and he navigates parenting with the north star of delivering truth in a compassionate, wise, and age-appropriate manner (you’ll know this if you listened to Ep 403, in which Brad had to deliver difficult news to his own children).
I am pleased to share this first post from Brad Ewell. Please make him feel welcome here by leaving a comment. If you share this post on Instagram, please tag him @a_late_discovery (and if you share elsewhere, please also tag me @lavluz!).
And feel free to run your questions by him, especially if there is something you’re not quite sure how to share with your adoptee.
Introducing Field Notes with Brad Ewell
I hate these introduction moments. What do I say to make you want to come back and read more of what I write?
Starting from a place of honesty is always best, so here goes… I’m not an adoption expert. Now that I’ve explained what I’m not, let’s get into why I’m here.
I’m an adoptee. Using a technical and more precise term, I’m a Late Discovery Adoptee. I didn’t learn I was adopted until 2019 at the age of 48 (for more of that story, you can listen to the episode of Adoption: The Long View that Fred Nicora and I guested on.
In the four years since my discovery, I’ve reunited with much of my birth family, lost my adoptive father, hugged my biological father as he walked out of prison, lost members of my birth family, and met a lot of adoptees. I’ve also taken a hard look at adoption and how growing up adopted, and with my true story unacknowledged, may have impacted the man I grew up to be.
In the last couple of years, I’ve participated in National Adoption Awareness Month (NAAM) through prompts I responded to on Instagram. One of the blessings that came from that is connecting with people in the entire adoption constellation. These connections pushed me to want to expand that reach further out of the adoptee echo chamber because I don’t believe growth and change occur when we only talk to people who are similarly situated to us.
I contacted Lori, who graciously offered me a space to connect with y’all on her page through my own column, Field Notes. I aim to speak openly and honestly about adoption’s good parts and challenging parts, from my perspective. In doing so, I hope we will all grow together.
I also welcome your feedback and questions; maybe there are things you don’t want to ask your own adoptee. No topics are off the table. I don’t have all the answers, but I enjoy research and have a large group of adoptees to ask questions about things I haven’t experienced.
Welcome to My Little Corner of the Internet
Lori Holden, mom of a young adult daughter and a young adult son, writes from Denver. She was honored as an Angel in Adoption® by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.
- Her first book, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption, makes a thoughtful anytime gift for the adoptive families in your life.
- Her second book, Standing Room Only: How to Be THAT Yoga Teacher is now available in paperback.
- Her third book, Adoption Unfiltered, will be published in late 2023.