# Lavender Luz: open adoption expert, educator, writer, podcaster, speaker

> Adoption expert Lori Holden understands the complexities of adoption\. She listens, writes, speaks, educates and coaches about adoption\.

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## Pages
- [Podcast](https://lavenderluz.com/podcast-2/): Looking for an adoption podcast? Tune in to Adoption: The Long View, where we explore the complexities of adoption for adoptive parents\.
- [Home](https://lavenderluz.com): Adoption expert Lori Holden understands the complexities of adoption\. She listens, writes, speaks, educates and coaches about adoption\. 
- [Excerpts](https://lavenderluz.com/excerpts-open-hearted-way-to-open-adoption/): Information on books by Lori Holden, including The Open\-Hearted Way to Open Adoption, Adoption Unfiltered, \& Standing Room Only Yoga Teachers
- [Books](https://lavenderluz.com/books/): Information on books by Lori Holden, including The Open\-Hearted Way to Open Adoption, Adoption Unfiltered, \& Standing Room Only Yoga Teachers
- [Coaching](https://lavenderluz.com/coaching/): Having difficulty with something adoption\-related? Lori Holden offers adoption coaching to people navigating adoption issues\.

## Posts
- ["Real" in Adoption and how it Splits our Babies](https://lavenderluz.com/real-in-adoption-splits-our-babies/): When we talk about who is and isn't real in adoption, we split the baby\. Fortunately there is a better alternative to this Either/Or mindset\.
- [Returning to the Well: a Retrospective](https://lavenderluz.com/returning-to-the-well-2/): Would adding her birth mom to my 7y/o daughter subtract from me? A look back on Tessa returning to the well—Crystal—\& its impact on all of us\.
- [Kohl's Adoption Video Brings Out the Either/Or Brigade](https://lavenderluz.com/kohls-adoption-video/): A commercial shows reunion between an adoptee \& his birth mom\. SO many viewers are incensed\! I hold the either/or mindset responsible\.
- [How to Bridge Gaps \& Make Adoption More Adoptee\-Centered](https://lavenderluz.com/ncfa-article/): How can adoptive parents make relationships more adoptee\-centric? An NCFA article offers key principles and new ways to think about openness,
- [How to Avoid Being Gobsmacked by your 18 Year\-Old Adoptee](https://lavenderluz.com/gobsmacked/): How can it happen that an adoptive parent doesn't see it coming, their child connecting with birth parents? It's no fun to be gobsmacked\!

## Media
- [Competency\_jpg](https://lavenderluz.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/Competency_jpg.png)
- [Screenshot 2026\-09\-05 151029](https://lavenderluz.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/Screenshot-2026-09-05-151029.png)
- [complimenting myself](https://lavenderluz.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/complimenting-myself.png)
- [open adoption get together](https://lavenderluz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/Lori-Crystal-kids-2-c.jpg): All of us two summers later\.
- [an adoptee returning to the well that is her birth mother](https://lavenderluz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/returning-to-the-well-adoptee-and-birth-mom.png)

## Episode
- [511: Best Of Season 5 Guests \+ Season Finale \+ Bonus](https://lavenderluz.com/podcast/511-best-adoption-advice/): Best advice from 12 guests this season, saying goodbye to this 5\-year project, and hearing a song from a new adoption musical\.
- [510: Kathy Mackechney, LCSW, on Internal Family Systems \& Adoption](https://lavenderluz.com/podcast/adoption-the-long-view-ep-510/): Adoptee \& therapist Kathy Mackechney, LCSW, on what adoptive parents need to know about an adoptee's parts and journey toward integration\.
- [509: Dr JaeRan Kim \& Patrick Armstrong on Adoptees Coming to Consciousness](https://lavenderluz.com/podcast/509-jaeran-kim-and-patrick-armstrong/): Scholar JaeRan Kim, PhD and podcast host Patrick Armstrong, both adoptees, explain the Adoptee Consciousness Model\.
- [508: Lanise Antoine Shelley on Centering the Adoptee In Their Story](https://lavenderluz.com/podcast/508-lanise-antoine-shelley/): Bestselling author Robyn Gobbel shares insights in dealing with big baffling behaviors\. How to provide connection and felt\-safety? Tune in\!
- [507: Dealing with Big Baffling Behaviors with Robyn Gobbel](https://lavenderluz.com/podcast/adoption-long-view-507/): Bestselling author Robyn Gobbel shares insights in dealing with big baffling behaviors\. How to provide connection and felt\-safety? Tune in\!

## Categories
- [Perfect Moment](https://lavenderluz.com/category/perfect-moment/)
- [Open Adoption](https://lavenderluz.com/category/open-adoption/)
- [Adoption](https://lavenderluz.com/category/adoption/)
- [Uncategorized](https://lavenderluz.com/category/uncategorized/)
- [Mindfulness](https://lavenderluz.com/category/mindfulness/)

## Tags
- [human condition](https://lavenderluz.com/tag/human-condition/)
- [podcast](https://lavenderluz.com/tag/podcast/)
- [closed adoption](https://lavenderluz.com/tag/closed-adoption/)
- [open adoption advice](https://lavenderluz.com/tag/open-adoption-advice/)
- [elsewhere](https://lavenderluz.com/tag/elsewhere/)

## Podcasts
- [Adoption: The Long View](https://lavenderluz.com/series/adoption-the-long-view/)
- [Adoption Unfiltered](https://lavenderluz.com/series/adoption-unfiltered/)

## Optional
- [Sitemap index](https://lavenderluz.com/sitemap_index.xml)