Open Adoption is HARD (but worth it)
So many parents I’ve talked with are committed to open adoption because they understand how it can help them and their children move from an Either/Or mindset to a Both/And heartset. As a consequence, they open to contact with birth parents and all the complexity that contact brings.
Regular old parenting can get tough, but add in an open adoption component and things can get really hairy. No parenting guide can give all the answers, but once you know how to set your “parenting GPS,” you’ll know how to find your answers.
Have you faced any of these sticky open adoption situations?
My Teen Wants to Live with His Birth Mom. Now What?
7 Things I Wish We’d Done Differently in Our Open Adoption
Dear Abby Got it Wrong for this 13 Year-Old Adoptee
Dear Abby is Wrong About Adoption & Birth Grandparents
I’m Excited to Tell Our Adoption Story, But I Don’t Wanna Violate My Child’s Privacy
My Child is ONLY Mine. I Can’t Bear to Think Otherwise. This Sucks!
I Know Something About My Son’s Birth Mom I’m Not Supposed to Know
Does My Adopted Child Really NEED a Therapist?
What If It Feels Like I’m Raising Someone Else’s Child?
Boundaries: We’ve Been Warned by Our Agency to Be Super Cautious
Do I Have to Tell My Child He’s Adopted?
My Son is Meeting His Birth Mom and I Have So Many Emotions About It
When Should I Tell My Child She’s Adopted?
How to Handle Birth Mother Rejection
My Son’s Birth Mom is Being Passive Aggressive. Help!
My Daughter is Hurting in Our Open Adoption. What Shall We Do?
My Kids Has No Adoption Issues. Is That an Issue?
OK to Withhold Info from My Kiddo?
What Do I Do When Birth Mom Lies to My Face?
Wait. You’re Telling Me We Can Have Openness in a Foster Adoption?
How Can We Open Up When We’re Prickly from Being Hurt?
When There’s No Birth Parent Information to Share
Advice for New Adoptive Parents
How to Nudge a Closed Person Toward Openness
When the Birth Father Says He Isn’t the Birth Father
We’re OK With Letting in Birth Mom, but Birth Dad is Scary
How to Explain Why One Child’s Birth Mother is Around and the Other’s Isn’t
How to Set Your GPS so it Guides You in Adoptive Parenting
What Mistakes Should I Avoid in My Adoption Profile?
More Advice Questions Answered
Advice on Open Adoption
The Open Adoption Advice column launched in the spring of 2015. As I prepared for and delivered a series of webinars, I realized there was a hunger for not only general knowledge about orienting on the child, but also situation-specific information on dealing with common issues in open adoption: The profile. The Wait. Boundaries. Levels of openness. How to tell the child his story. Healing from wounds. Staying open even when it’s hard. And so on.
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