In the decade since I first heard about this newfangled thing called open adoption, I have feared it, researched it, walked into it, lived it, breathed it, cursed it, worked through it, appreciated it — even written a book about it (see sidebar). Here are some posts along the journey. So far.
Parenting in open adoption
The Open Adoption grid: Why I think of open adoption as a grid rather than a spectrum, and why openness is not the same as contact.
What does “‘real” mean? My daughter utters those dreaded words.
“What if I weren’t adopted?” I abide with my daughter while she wonders.
Hotel Rwanda and open adoption parenting: extraordinary = extra + ordinary.
“Why did she give me away?” My son asks tough questions. Insights to how to respond when your child begins wondering about birth parents.
“Am I a bastard, Mom?”: my readers help me talk about the B word.
How I embraced open adoption: Is “Just embrace” what comes after “Just adopt”?
Head and heart: how open adoption has changed me.
The Family Toes: My first day as a mom, I feel like a fraud. Clearly there has been a mistake.
On DNA: Nature? or Nurture?
Ignorant questions about open adoption, as well as my responses to them.
Birth/first parents
Two women, one daughter: how Crystal, my daughter’s first mom, and I share a daughter.
Returning to the Well: why it serves both my daughter and me when she spends time with Crystal. Published in Adoptive Families magazine.
Reunion series: bringing my daughter’s first dad into our lives for the first time. Condensed and published in Adoptive Families magazine.
- Part 1: Considering Joe
- Part 2: Telling Tessa
- Part 3: The horrible wait
- Part 4: The meeting
- Part 5: Crash
- Part 6: What was the what
Relationships in the triad
Normalize it! My response to criticism about contact between child and birth parent.
Letters from my kids 2031: What I’d like for my children to be able to say about the way I conducted myself.
Books, Workshops, Advice, etc
The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole: written with Crystal, my daughter’s birth mom.
Open Adoption Advice: A weekly column, launched in response to a stream of questions that came in during a webinar I delivered for Adoptive Families magazine.
Adoption: The Long View: podcast exploring the complexities of adoption with a variety of adoption voices and experts.
Images: LavenderLuz.com
Saw that you were voted in the top 20 Adoption Blogs..I read many of your posts and I can see why!!!..Thank you for your love , courage and honesty…you are an amazing mother..I wrote about you in my blog..and linked to you.. and recommended that woman exploring adoption for an unplanned pregnancy should definetly read your blog to truly understand the depth of Iove and courage it takes for birth and adoptive families to live out a “child centered relationship built adoption “..You and your birth parents are truly doing this..Hat off to you..I run an adoption program at a licensed California adoption agency the Kinship Center and we strive to help our families both birth and adoptive to reach for the kind of open adoption you describe..Best wishes to you and the beautiful” family “you have created for your children…Sincerely, Melissa Dodson, Director of Adoption Services,Kinship Center
Thank you, Melissa. Emailing you…
I am too for open adoption. It is a great way for the birth and adoptive parents to still communicate about one of the people they love most.