Tag Archives: adoption reunion

“Ask Amy” Got It Right

If I’m going to be quick to criticize when warranted, I also need to be quick to commend when warranted.

Ask Amy on DNA and a Found Sibling

A letter writer  had undergone DNA testing and found a surprise sibling. He asked syndicated columnist Amy Dickinson if contact should be pursued. Rather than winging in (I’m looking at you, Dear Abby) Amy consulted someone with knowledge and experience about DNA testing and adoption reunion, Richard Hill (author of Finding Family: My Search for Roots and the Secrets in My DNA).

Richard offered 3 points in favor of reaching out to a sibling, despite the unknowns and possible complications.

1. Knowing the truth is better in the long run. Continue reading “Ask Amy” Got It Right

Her Letter Hurts! When a Birth Mom Rejects Her Daughter

Question: I was adopted back in the day and I finally tracked down my birth mother, now 85. My worst fears were realized when she rejected me a second time. I was so hopeful to finally hear from her, but her letter has put me in such pain.

Do you mind reading this and giving me your perspective? Everyone I have shared it with, my family and close friends, have their opinions but none of them have any experience with adoption. I would love to read comments from your readers as I am sure it would be therapeutic.

One more thing. I requested a picture of my mother when she was young and one now, plus medical and ancestry information. She sent me one recent picture with my half brother. I certainly would have appreciated answers to my specific health questions.

— Jill

adoptee rejected by birth mother

Continue reading Her Letter Hurts! When a Birth Mom Rejects Her Daughter

Update: the Mom Whose Son Left to Live with Birth Mom

A year ago I published a letter from Charlene that explained her son had found his birth mother and they had all attended his college graduation. The reunion had gone so well that the son had decided to move to another state to live with his birth mom and get to know his biological family.

Charlene was happy for her son, yet also had many other emotions and was feeling confused by their coexistence.

That post resulted in a lively and helpful discussion. Charlene wrote in this week with an update, and she doesn’t mind that I share it with you. We both feel there is value in seeing what happens when a person has no choice but to trust the process (well, I suppose you can fight the process, but in adoption that rarely ends well).

adoption reunion live with birth mom

Continue reading Update: the Mom Whose Son Left to Live with Birth Mom