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What Carolyn Hax Could Have Said on Adoption Question

A recap of the situation a letter writer brought to Washington Post advice columnist Carolyn Hax:

“Tell My Son” and wife adopted a baby born to a teenage niece. Now age 5 or 6, Jake has always known he was adopted. His parents showed him a photo of his birth mom, Tara, when he was old enough. They told him he could get more information about his birth parents any time he wanted.

At some early point the wife was advised to “never give Jake more information than he wants.”

Due to geographic distance,  Jake and Tara have seen each other only a handful of times, and the parents report that Jake has never connected with her picture. Tara is a little awkward during visits, and the letter writer says “she avoids us when she’s visiting.”

adoption adviceWith an upcoming annual visit, Tara would now like to begin to cultivate a more authentic relationship with her son. Her big ask of Jake’s parents is that they give Jake the truth about her.

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