Tag Archives: human condition

Sacrificing Our Outrage

A sampling — a sliver, really — of outrage from my Facebook feed.

  • Why aren’t you outraged every single day?
  • This should outrage everyone who reads it.
  • Where’s the outrage about this guy??
  • After a week of constant outrage and fear, I’m physically and emotionally ill.
  • Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids
  • Anti-pot billboards’ awkward race commentary sparks outrage
  • Outrage As White Teacher Tells Black Student Her African Themed Prom Dress Is Too Tacky!
  • Vanity Fair outrage: Michelle Obama, not Melania Trump, makes International Best Dressed List and…
  • Stop Pretending to Be Outraged by Kathy Griffin’s Gross Video

Besides social media exposures to outrage, there are also real life exposures to outrage. I can’t remember a time of so much outrage. Can you?

pockets of outrage

It’s outrageous.

We’re Being Played

The Internet has elevated an old currency to an unprecedented level of importance: our attention. Continue reading Sacrificing Our Outrage

I Got Jackassed. TWICE.

The parking lot was not full when I drove up. I slid into one of many available spots, grabbed my mat and headed in to a yoga class. I got some exercise, met my physical and mental edge, practiced staying present, and closed with a moment of stillness.

That last step was important.

Because when I came out  to my car, this is what I found.

park like an idiot

My zen evaporated and a rush of anger come over me. I stormed back into the gym, thinking of all the ways I wanted to make this jerk pay for their transgression. Jackass.

Continue reading I Got Jackassed. TWICE.

3 Things I Learned from the Adoption Process

The adoption process is not for the faint of heart. It requires big things of ordinary people. Running that gauntlet caused me to develop three new abilities, each which would eventually come in handy years later.

Lesson 1: Calm the Chatter

The Wait. I found all the doing of the adoption process to be the easy part. Get those fingerprints. Write those essays. Clean the house and host the homestudy appointments. Attend the classes and work up that adoption profile.

But when all the doing was over, the harder part started: doing nothing. Just waiting. Just sitting with all that anxiety over all the unknowns. Would it happen? How would it happen? Would something go wrong? How many things could go wrong? LET ME ENVISION ALL OF THEM.

My frantic mind, locked on a goal, got really good at conceiving of every possible thing that could go awry, monkey-chatter taking over as I moved through my days.

monkey chatter in the adoption process

Continue reading 3 Things I Learned from the Adoption Process

I Want My Kids to Struggle

That sounds really mean, doesn’t it? Hear me out as I make that case that sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.

“Children Are Anti-Fragile”

In a broader discussion of what he calls the vindictive attack culture on college campuses,  Dr. Jonathan Haidt, a psychologist and professor of business ethics at New York University’s Stern School of Business, says:

A carton of eggs is fragile, if you bang it around it breaks. But bone is anti-fragile. If you bang it around it gets stronger, and if you don’t bang it around it gets weaker. Children are anti-fragile. They have to have many, many experiences of failure, fear, and being challenged. Then they have to figure out ways to get themselves through it. [bold added by me]

I’ve been thinking about this in terms of parenting, adoptive parenting and modern culture. children are anti-fragile

Continue reading I Want My Kids to Struggle