Letter Writer: I came across your post “He Wants to Live with His Birth Mother. Now what?” — because I’m living it.
I am an adoptive mother of three. My son, now 23 , graduated from college this past May. Throughout his upbringing his father and I would talk about adoption from time to time and always told him (and the other kids, too) if they ever wanted to search for their birth parents we encourage and support and will help in anyway possible.
None of our kids ever took an interest, until earlier this year when my son was in his senior year of college. It seemed from out of nowhere, but all of a sudden he wanted to reach out to his birth mother. I knew her last name and the state she last lived in. With that information, voilà, he found her on Facebook.
My son met with a counselor who specialized in adoption search and reunion and we met with them to navigate the process. My son asked for my help, asked if I could message her through Facebook. At first I was hesitant but after composing what I thought was a thoughtful , acceptable letter, the message was sent.
That was February of 2016. We held our breath. Will she open the message, will she be open to corresponding, will she reject him? What will happen???
Fast forward a few months. We flew her and her entire family to his college town to attend his graduation this spring. They stayed for a week. Four weeks later my son decided to move to another state and live with them.
So this has been a whirlwind. It has been such an array of emotions. I am so grateful his biological family accepted him and immediately loved him and were open and kind and appreciative towards us.
On my bad days I feel like….. what. just. happened.