Tag Archives: tough conversations

Adoption as a Punchline

I had to decide in an instant what to do about an exchange I witnessed on a lunch break at school.

adoption as a joke

A parent at my school was performing volunteer duties. I watched as her son, one of my high school students,  passed by her near the main office.

“You’re adopted,” he said to her affectionately.

“No, YOU’re adopted.” she volleyed back. Obviously this was not the first time they have said these connection-building words to each other.

Continue reading Adoption as a Punchline

Parenting Teens Amid Rape Culture

Back before Orlando and Istanbul, when we were still talking about Stanford rapist Brock Turner and the rape culture that he, his parents, and the judge arose from and perpetuate, I remember reading lots of opinions about the fact that alcohol had been involved. The gist was something like this: just because the survivor was drunk doesn’t mean she was to blame. (Example.)

True that. I absolutely agree.

And still, it feels to me like we got hung up on assigning blame, which prevented us from discussing prevention.

I want my kids to understand the perils of getting drunk (or compromised by any means) and the possible scenarios that can unfold when they are unable to make sound decisions for themselves.

Does my wish stem from a blame-the-victim mindset? I think not, and here’s why.

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