Tag Archives: writing my book

A Quickie

Not a full post, just two alerts — one an invitation and the other an announcement:

Lori Holden's book on open adoption1. Melissa at Stirrup Queens is graciously hosting a virtual book club tour of my book today. It feels a bit voyeuristic to listen in on conversations about my creation, but I’m enjoying myself immensely as I hop around to the blogs of the participants. The questions the participants asked each other are thoughtful and their responses are equally canny.

You are invited to read along, as well, and listen to what people are saying. (I’ll delurk and comment soon, and I’ll answer participant questions in a future post).

BIG thanks to Melissa.

2. This just in: The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole is now available on Kindle.

Favor: The book’s first wave is doing well, thanks to so many of you. As it ripples outward, one of my goals is for the book to find its way to adoption agencies so they have a resource for how to “do” openness. As we know, for years, adoption professionals have been telling their clients, both adopting and expecting, why to do open adoption without necessarily providing the resources for how. Now they have an easy and inexpensive way to support and empower parents on their lifelong journey.

If you are in a position to alert an agency/facilitator/attorney to this book, I would be grateful for you to do so.

BIG thanks to you.

Take cover

I’m not sure how cover creation works for other publishers or for self-publishers, but I can share with you my process.

At the beginning of our partnership, my publisher asked me to fill out a questionnaire about the cover and turn it in with the completed manuscript. Were there images that would be appropriate? I suggested anything that symbolizes union: the Tao symbol (my Twitter avatar), joined hands, joined hearts, puzzle pieces coming together, and rainbow colors for promises kept. I didn’t know how the publisher would build a cover with that input.

[I really like the image on Jim Gritter’s book, Hospitious Adoption, as well as the content in it (wow! currently selling on Amazon for $900!). But Jim got it first.

Hospitious Adoption by Jim Gritter

Still, for my own book I had nothing definitive in my mind, no clear vision of what the book should look like. I am much more facile thinking in words than in pictures, so I’m glad I had access to the publisher’s expertise in this part of book production.

The questionnaire also asked if there were any images that should be avoided.  I nixed babies. This book isn’t about parenting just babies. And I don’t want it to attract only people who are at the very beginning of their adoption journey. It really should have wider appeal — it’s also for parents of toddlers, gradeschoolers, tweens and teens. It’s got messages for birth families as well as adoptive families. And there’s a chapter for why and how to have openness in foster situations,  international adoptions and parenting by donor gametes — even in cases in which “openness” doesn’t mean actual contact.

I sent the questionnaire along with the manuscript at the end of the summer. And waited for the publisher to work its magic.

Two weeks ago the publisher sent me five options. Four of them had templates based on squares and were very grid-ish. But one was more orb-ish in flavor. In my mind, circles portray wholeness and integration better than do squares. So my gut feeling on choosing The One was clear and instantaneous.

And so — we now have a cover for the book.


Lori Holden's book cover

If you like it, tell me. If you don’t, there’s nothing I can do — so instead tell me who is your favorite political theorist of the European Age of Enlightenment and why.

Without Googling.*

* generic term for all Internet searches.

Time Warp Tuesday: Books

Ooooh, books. Most every blogger I know loves to write because she loves to read. We pepper our posts with references to the books and authors we loved in the past — Nancy Drew and Piers Anthony and Sydney Sheldon (don’t judge!) and Jean Auel — and those that touch us now — Jim Gritter, Melissa Ford, Joan Didion, and Anita Diamont.

We’re revisiting posts about “books” for Time Warp Tuesday, the monthly blog hop offered by Kathy at Bereaved and Blessed.

Kathy directs us this month to:

Choose a post in which you wrote about one or more books that you have read. The post could be a book review, a blog entry that was part of a book tour/book club discussion or just references a book(s) that you love… Then write a new post about why you chose the post that you did and what has happened in your life since.

I’m going to interpret Kathy’s instructions loosely. I’m going to warp time by 11 months and direct you to this post, the closest I will ever get to making a pregnancy or birth announcement.

My Big Announcement: Not Paper Pregnant but…

Damn, it felt good to publish that post after so many years of trying.


So what has changed since my news?

  • I have written the book. I had the privilege of interviewing dozens of people involved in adoption, and their stories and insights make the book something I’m proud of. I committed to showing up to write for at least an hour every day the kids were in school, and by May I had a manuscript. Consequently, I am able to share some excerpts with you.
  • My daughter’s birth mom, Crystal, is listed as a contributor rather than co-author. Turns out it was too cumbersome to write in the first-person plural, since our viewpoints and experiences were often vastly different.
  • Carolyn Savage, author of Inconceivable, has written the Foreword, thanks to Kathy introducing us. Carolyn has become a good friend and publishing mentor, and I love reading her regularly on her blog.
  • Several luminaries have written endorsements for the book after reading the raw manuscript. You might recognize some of them.
  • Even though the book won’t be available until March, its page just went up on Amazon. If you have an Amazon account, would you Like my book?
  • My Amazon Author page was just approved. Do you want to see the Author/Contributor portrait for the book flap?

What has not changed?

  • The title, at first in question by the publisher, will remain The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole.
  • The cover is still under development. I have NO IDEA what it will look like.
  • The book will be available in hardcover and e-version. Amazon is taking pre-orders now, along with its pre-order price guarantee.

Is this sense of contentment and happiness and anticipation I’m experiencing at all like what it feels like to at last be pregnant with a takeaway?

Click over to Time Warp Tuesday to read more posts about books, and maybe even add your own (even if it’s no longer Tuesday).