Considering that the cumulative high temperature over the last 10 days has been about 1000°, and considering that my home (and home office) has no air conditioning, I have brainstormed some helpful hints on how to spend your next 60 days (or 6000°).
11. One word: basement.
10. Slather on the sunscreen and set up the Slip ‘n’ Slide, uh, for the KIDS. Right. For the kids.
9. Conduct a mad Internet search for an air conditioning unit. Pay whatever is asked, even if it completely usurps the childrens’ college funds.
8. Plant an acorn and envision that in the Summer of ’42 you’ll have shade.
7. Hijack an ice cream truck.
6. Daydream about the Blizzard of 2003. And the snowless snow days of 2011 when it hit 40° below and the school buses wouldn’t run.
5. Eat this dessert (adults only).
4. Go to Costco and accidentally find yourself in the refrigerated food section. I mean INSIDE it. If caught, claim that you were chasing a wayward child who loves cheese.
3. Investigate rain dances from various indigenous cultures. Gather the neighbors to help you summon and please the rain gods with a rainmaking ritual. Stop short of sacrificing small animals, especially if flame is involved.
2. Hug a firefighter. Air hug, perhaps, to prevent spontaneous combustion.
1. Popsicles for dinner.
How do you cool off on a hot summer day?
(Southern hemisphere friends, please tuck this post away and come back to read in January.)