Carolyn Savage has one of the most chaotic family building stories you’ll ever hear. Now mom to 6 children, Carolyn was the perfect person to write the foreword to my book 7 years ago.
Why? Because as a book by and for both adoptive parents and birth parents, Carolyn was in the position of having experienced both sides of placing and receiving a baby —
— with a few twists and turns.
It was my pleasure and honor to catch up with Carolyn Savage in the latest episode of my podcast, Adoption: The Long View. Though she can’t technically be classified as either an adoptive mom or a birth mom, her family building story includes essential elements of both.
You may recall hearing Carolyn’s story in the news back in 2009 because of the stir it caused then, or in her book that came out a few years later, Inconceivable.
I aim to love all parts of me, including the ugly ones I try to hide even from myself.
Open-hearted adoption. Over and over again I see that a BothAnd view serves all parties better than an Either/Or view, which splits the baby. The BothAnd concept goes not only for “real” parents, but also for the range of emotions anyone in an adoption has about adoption.
When I honor my children’s connections to their original family, it adds to my children without taking away from me. Also, I acknowledge that open-hearted adoption is really hard at times — as well as rewarding.