Exercise 1 for The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption

Manifesting what you want: Contraction vs Expansion

The traditional way to attract what you want — a better job, a mate, more health, more wealth, or even a child – teaches you to draw something to you. It is a masculine way of attracting – doing. Examples include making a vision board; taping affirmations to your mirror, monitor and steering wheel; making a plan and following it diligently. This method assumes a contracting universe, since you are taught to draw your desired outcome to you.

Yet we live not in a contracting universe, but an ever-expanding universe. Might there be another way to manifest what we want? A more feminine way – being?

There are no gender or value judgments on these terms – one is not better than the other. Sitting around and “being” (feminine energy) is not superior to ceaseless “doing” (masculine energy). The key is to consciously balance both. Nature does this and encourages us to, as well — day balanced with night. Activity balanced with rest. Inhale balanced with exhale. Even life balanced with death. Opposites are dualities that depend on each other for their existence.

body's wheels of energyWith the following exercise, we explore a more feminine way of manifesting: expansion. Rather than working in the realm of duality, expansion goes up a level to the realm of unity. Contraction assumes what you want is separate from you. Expansion acknowledges that nothing is separate from you –- your desires are unmanifested in part because of limits to your ability to live consciously.

With that framework, I invite you to get in a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. You’ll be here for 20 – 25 minutes so you want to be comfortable and relaxed but not so much that you fall off to sleep (although if you do, that’s OK).  You may play the guided audio meditation by clicking on the purple button, or you may have someone read the following to you — maybe even you, if you want to record yourself ahead of time. You may also want to have soft or chanting music on, something that is meaningful and relaxing to you. Note that there are stretches of silent time in the audio file, space that you don’t need to fill.

A Meditation for Heart Expansion

Sit quietly and collect yourself from wherever your energy is. Work issue? Bring back your energy. A fight with someone? Bring back your energy. A warm fuzzy you keep replaying in your head? Bring back your energy. Be present in your body. Bring your awareness from your head to your heart.

Intend for your mind to become subservient to your heart by focusing on your breathing. Act as though your breath is the most fascinating thing to watch as it goes into and out of your nostrils, into and out of your lungs, nourishing all the cells of your body and moving out what you don’t need, bringing consciousness (“spirit,” as in “re-spire” and “in-spire”) and renewal to your physical body.

Go into your heart and meditate by watching your breath. After you’ve been there awhile, become aware of your connection with the center of the earth — the feminine — and with the top of the sky — the masculine. Tether your being to both, know that your body is the bridge between the two. Feel the support of God/the universe. Know that you embody the connection of both matter (earth) and spirit (heaven). Of both love and of wisdom.

This is a state of abundance. There is no lack. In the space you are not small and limited. You are part of the Divine. Part of the All. Interconnected with all that is. There is nothing that is not you.

Imagine your heart center. As you continue breathing in and out the energies of the earth and sky, and watching how they co-mingle at your heart, picture your heart center growing until it fills your chest. Then fills the room. Keep breathing and allow your heart to fill your home, your neighborhood, your city and state. Keep filling your heart with more light until your entire region (the Pacific NW, Great Lakes, Rocky Mountains, New England, etc) is surrounded by the light and love in your heart. Go even bigger if you want.

In this way you may also manifest peace in the world.

Your huge heart swirling with energy from the earth and the sky now encompasses what you desire most. It encircles your relationships, present and future. Become aware of the connection you have with these people — other parents to your child as well as the child herself  — that is, for now, unmanifested. State your intention that this connection be made manifest in the time frame that is best for all concerned. Shower the other parents with love from your gigantic heart. Envelope that child with all that unbounded love energy you’re blessed with. Offer your gratitude and your service to them, as well as healing energy.

Hold this space for awhile. Just let them know you are ready. Sit in their presence and breathe. Stay with your breath and in your heart.

After some time, close by offering gratitude to God/the Divine, of which you, the child and the other parents are a part.

Over the next few weeks, spend some time expanding and knowing how big you truly are. Rather than bringing what you want to you (contraction), you are realizing that you already are all that you seek.

(the divine in me recognizes and honors the divine in you)


Want more? Click on Audio Exercise #2.

For more on building a regular meditation practice, visit Sally Kempton’s website.

 The painting of the chakras was created by Lisa Brown-Olsen.

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Open adoption & adoptive parenting