Category Archives: Excavating

What I Have Craved

What I have

  • A condo of my own, furnished with my own stuff.
  • A fascinating job as head of an adult learning network.
  • Good grades in grad school.
  • A lot of time to myself to read, write, think. Too much, maybe.

What I crave
The man I am to share my life with, if he even exists. Every morning I wake up wondering if this is the day I’ll meet him. It’s an obsession.


What I have

  • A handsome, funny, smart, hardworking man.
  • Our first home together, a 1891 old Victorian that is filled with mementos of our adventures living and traveling overseas.
  • A politically charged job as an administrator at a state university.
  • Time with my husband to see movies, attend concerts, and travel.

What I crave
A child or two. Everyday I get more depressed about my fading chances to be a mom. It’s an obsession.

What I have

  • A handsome, funny, smart, hardworking man, who is also a fabulous Daddy.
  • A sassy 6 year old daughter.
  • A sweet 4 year old son.
  • A mostly happy home where we’ve only recently been able to bring out our breakables again, and which is usually very cluttered with library books, swim suits, Bionicles, tiaras and kiddie lipstick.
  • A patchwork of work-at-home jobs.

What I crave
Time to myself to read, write, think. It’s an obsession.

You can see where this could go as the children grow and become independent. Should I be lucky enough to have continued health and safety for my family, I will once again have then what I want now, and vice versa.

Be. Here. Now. Lori.

I’m no slouch

Well, to tell the truth, I AM a slouch. Good posture has not been easy for me.

As a child, I had asthma, and I found that hunched shoulders eased my breathing.

Later in junior high school, I rounded my shoulders to hide my late-developing chest.

And in college, I was surprised to find I’d grown taller than many of the guys, so I once again found a reason to diminish my true height.

At my recent physical appointment, I found out that the greatest long-term risk I have isn’t cancer, cardiovascular disease or neurological dysfunction. Because of my build, my greatest risk is osteoporosis.

And I had a massage last week. The therapist pointed out that most of my daily activities require a caving in of my shoulders: driving, computer work, carrying children, bicycling. Even many of the exercises I’d been doing at the gym were aimed at building my front-torso muscles and neglecting my back-torso muscles. She said improving my posture isn’t just about moving my shoulders back and down. It’s about lifting my sternum. About leading with my heart.

So here I am posting about contraction versus expansion. Here I am blogging about opening my heart and living from it (not just my head, which is much more comfortable in the role).

Yoga will help. Being conscious of my breathing and posture will help. Modifying my workout will help. Stating my intentions will help.

Here I publicly state my intentions:

  • I am expansion.
  • I live from my heart.
  • I walk tall and straight.
  • I release fear that no longer serves me.
  • I allow in abundance.

This about so much more than just posture.

(It’s Mojito Friday…free to anyone with a prominent sternum.)