Category Archives: Family

When you find yourself in times of trouble…

When you need help, you run across two different types of people.

  1. People like me have to figure out a path from here to helping you before they can say, “Sure! I’ll be right there!”
  2. People like my sister, Tami, say “Sure!” first and then figure out the how.

Yesterday, Tami called me when Gino was about to be released from the hospital. I had her car with Dominic’s carseat and Gino’s wheelchair in it, since I had been watching Dominic much of the weekend. Her car is the only one that fits Dominic and both of my kids.Roger, Tessa, Reed and I had just sat down for dinner at an Italian restaurant. I am embarrassed to say that I asked if we could eat first before exchanging cars with her. I just couldn’t see how I would get a hungry family out of that restaurant without eating.

She didn’t need the car seat or wheelchair immediately, so it wasn’t really a problem. The problem, to me, is that I didn’t immediately say “Sure! Be right there!” I am just not built that way.

Tami, on the other hand, is famous for saying, “whaddaya need? I’m leaving right now.” Then she’ll wake her son from his nap (those are sacred!), cancel his gymnastics class, stop at the grocery store and bring exactly the right items you didn’t even know you needed, and show up on your doorstep with a smile.

I’ve always told myself I’m the Selfish One of the family. I am the eldest, and I am the only one of the three of us to experience being the sole center of my parents’ universe. It’s only recently that I’ve been able to put a new spin on selfishness, thanks to an intuitive reading from my other sister, Sheri: I’m not selfish, I just have healthy boundaries.

So, when someone needs you, are you more like Tami or like me? Explain.

And what’s the difference between being selfish and having healthy boundaries?


Looking for the Barren Bi+ches Book Brigade book tour stop? Continue to the next entry below.

Family math

5 days
2 parents
2 sisters
our 3 husbands ( 1 each)
our 6 children
love, love, love

and also
28 time outs
4 trail hikes
3 trips to the liquor store
8 coffee cans full of homemade ice cream
3 trips to the rec center
283 songs on my iPod
2 puzzles
1 adoption profile to assist with
3 hours/night sleep deficit
0 broken bones
2 hours on a wheelchair-accessible pontoon trip on Lake Dillon
6,825 chicken nuggets