Both my kids are now in drivers permit territory. (aaah-I KNOW — how did this happen??)
This makes me think of earlier milestones. How do you know when your kid is ready to first eat solids? Sleep in a big kid bed? Start potty training? You read the guidebooks, you tune in to your child, and you watch for signs. You give the transition a try and adjust to and fro.
Unlike these previous examples, learning to drive is a legal thing that is tied to age first and readiness second. In our state (Colorado) a teenager can take a written test through the DMV at age 15 and begin a year of practice driving.
My husband and I find ourselves doing a curious thing in anticipation/preparation:
Back before Orlando and Istanbul, when we were still talking about Stanford rapist Brock Turner and the rape culture that he, his parents, and the judge arose from and perpetuate, I remember reading lots of opinions about the fact that alcohol had been involved. The gist was something like this: just because the survivor was drunk doesn’t mean she was to blame. (Example.)
True that. I absolutely agree.
And still, it feels to me like we got hung up on assigning blame, which prevented us from discussing prevention.
I want my kids to understand the perils of getting drunk (or compromised by any means) and the possible scenarios that can unfold when they are unable to make sound decisions for themselves.
Does my wish stem from a blame-the-victim mindset? I think not, and here’s why.