Listening for understanding can be one of the most important things we do in any relationship — as a partner, a parent, a friend, a colleague. It’s also how we can best effect change even beyond these relationships.
Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth mom) and I have unveiled a new video series. We talk about emotionally-charged issues in adoption, such as naming a newborn — high stakes for all involved! — and cover it from our three angles. You can be a fly on the wall listening in. You probably already know your own viewpoint, but how well do you know others’?
I have begun working my way through Dr Brad Reedy’s weekly talks for parents (adoptive and otherwise) and I find his information so resonant and helpful. His area of research is attachment, and he speaks directly to adoptive parents with this episode (even though he himself is not an adoptive parent).
One of my favorite quotes from this episode can help adoptive parents tune into the ever-moving Goldilocks point:
“Adoption isn’t everything and it isn’t nothing. But it is something.”
— Dr Brad Reedy of Evoke Therapy
Dr Reedy also talks about parents being a safe place for our children. That to become so, we must continue to do our own work and heal our own attachment wounds — which we all have and which we all bring to parenting. So worth the watch or listen.
2. The 39th Annual “Let’s Talk Adoption” Virtual Conference
Please read Sara Easterly’s courageous review of The Nature of Small Birds, published in Englewood Review of Books. I say courageous because Sara herself is a writer in the Christian writing space; she takes no pleasure in exposing another Christian writer’s blind spots in crafting a novel about an adoptee from Vietnam.
Considering adoptees are four times more likely than non-adoptees to attempt suicide, it’s critically important that literature about adoption is held to a higher standard than it traditionally has been—especially in Christian circles where hurtful adoption messaging can be so prevalent.
2. Conscious Adoption Parent Education Courses with Astrid Castro of Adoption Mosaic
A 6-week course on Transracial Parenting starts Jan 19. A course on Tough Conversations is coming in March. Check out the rest of the offerings and adoption resources from people with lived experience here.
