Category Archives: Birth parent

Birth Mom: Help Me Write Letter to Son’s Adoptive Mom

Can a Birth Mom and Adoptive Mom from the Closed Era Coexist?

And if so, how?

Clare is a first mom who was found this year by her adult son. She left a comment recently, one that led to our email exchange. She recognizes that the readers here are savvy and sage, and that she might be able to tap into well-considered viewpoints from all parts of the adoption constellation.

birth mom adoptive mom coexist

Clare says:

I am considering sending a letter to my son’s parents and asking if they would like to meet with me for us to get to know each other a bit more and to help clear the air.

Continue reading Birth Mom: Help Me Write Letter to Son’s Adoptive Mom

Book Review: Patricia Florin’s “A Life Let Go”

I’ll cut to the chase: I loved this book.

Months ago author Patricia Florin sent me A Life Let Go to review. I had a big stack of books in my queue and not enough reading time to get to hers in a gracious manner, but I finally got time to read during our recent trip to Ireland.

Could Not Put it Down

Continue reading Book Review: Patricia Florin’s “A Life Let Go”

“I am a Birth Grandmother Walking the Open Adoption Trail”

What is it like when your daughter places your granddaughter for adoption? Mary Jo Bennett shares what the journey has been like for her.

open adoption trail

The Ambivalence of a Mother-Slash-Birth-Grandmother

When your first grandchild is born into an open adoption, it’s not easy.  Many of the landmarks of becoming a grandmother are skewed.  Right out of the gate, when your child tells you she is pregnant and planning an adoption, you enter into a sea of ambivalence and uncertainty.  What do you feel?  How do you respond?  If a part of you wants your child to keep the baby in the family, how strongly do you advocate for this?  And do you have the right to even advocate at all? Continue reading “I am a Birth Grandmother Walking the Open Adoption Trail”

How to Have Openness in a Foster Adoption

open adoption adviceQuestion: Can you talk about open adoption for foster kids who have been abused? We are about to adopt Daughter through foster care and there has been severe and repeated abuse. Birth Dad was the abuser and is in jail for it, and we’re not sure how to proceed with Birth Mom. By court order, Daughter hasn’t seen her in months, possibly a year by the time the adoption is final. I’m concerned about Birth Mom’s lack of understanding of the severity of the situation and her lack of concern for the safety and welfare of Daughter.      — Kate

Guest advising today is Addison Cooper, LCSW, of Adoption at the Movies. Addison is a supervising social worker for a foster care/adoption agency, and he lives in Southern California.

Safety First

Dear Kate: It’s wonderful that you’re starting from a position of wanting to be open. In any adoption, the ideal and desired outcome is a healthy openness — to the degree possible. Continue reading How to Have Openness in a Foster Adoption