Category Archives: Guest Post

From Infertility to Openness: The Evolution of Jessica

Jess simultaneously straddles two sides of The Adoption Wait — waiting to get picked as adoptive parents and waiting to be matched as embryo donors (there’s a new development on that on her blog).

In this guest post about her ridiculously crazy journey through infertility, third party reproduction, and adoption, Jess tells how her beliefs evolved from conventional wisdom (let’s not worry about those pesky genetic origins) to a viewpoint that’s perhaps more informed and empathetic.

donor gametes & open adoption

Continue reading From Infertility to Openness: The Evolution of Jessica

On the Crime of Being Adopted

News came recently of Adam Crapser, a married father of two who was detained last month and sits in a cell in Tacoma awaiting deportation to Korea , a land he hasn’t seen since he was adopted from there 40 years ago, in 1976. His crime is not his own, and his life in the US can be summarized in four chapters, each its own tragedy:

  • Abused by adoptive family #1, as was his biological sister.
  • Separated from his biological sister when Child Services got involved.
  • Adopted again by a new family, without his sister. Abused and tortured again.
  • Is today facing deportation charges because among all those charged with his care, none ever finalized his naturalization.

Today I offer guest post that reveals injustices around how adoptees are treated in the United States. Adam Pertman, founder of the National Center on Adoption and Permanency, tells of previous cases of adoptee deportation — Adam Crapser’s is not an rarity — along with what you can do to help make things right.
crime of being adopted
Continue reading On the Crime of Being Adopted

Adam Pertman on Supporting Adoptive Families

You might think that once adoption papers are signed and the child has a forever family, that’s the end of the story. Guest poster Adam Pertman stresses that while finalization is the end of one journey, it’s also the beginning of another.

Permanency for Children & Support For their Families

adam pertman adoption permanencyFinding safe, permanent homes for children in foster care — usually through adoption when they cannot return to their families of origin — has become a federal mandate and a national priority during the past few decades. That’s obviously a very good thing, but there’s a too-little-discussed downside to this positive trend: Far too little attention is being paid to serving children after placement to ensure that they can grow up successfully in their new families and so that their parents can successfully raise them to adulthood. Continue reading Adam Pertman on Supporting Adoptive Families

Do Open Adoption Big

Open adoption is scary — said a mother of three, once upon a time.

But Rachel Garlinghouse figured out how to morph the fear into excitement — and embrace something else entirely. Here’s how, and more importantly, here she tells why.

open adoption roller coaster

Semi-Open Means

When we were first waiting to adopt, we swiftly checked the “semi-open adoption” box. This meant that our post-placement correspondence with our child’s biological parent or parents would go through the agency. It meant not having each others’ last names, addresses, or phone numbers. It meant we would agree to send updates about the child, which includes pictures and a letter, on a set schedule, and the agency would forward these on to the child’s birth parents.

We interpreted a semi-open adoption as safety. As not being unexpectedly interrupted by adoption. As a happy medium. As doing our part without doing too much. We could pat ourselves on the back and move forward without too much at stake.

Our ideal adoption was changed with a phone call.  Continue reading Do Open Adoption Big