Category Archives: Open Adoption

Parenting Expert John Rosemond Wants to Give You Open Adoption Advice

But there are a few problems with that.

First of all, he has no direct experience with open adoption, or even plain old adoption, as far as my sleuthing skills reveal.

Second of all, his advice is terrible.

Though he apparently has a big following, Jim Rosemond is new on my radar. I heard of him only because I got a google alert that in his syndicated column, he’d offered advice to a letter writing couple having difficulty with their teen son and his birth mom. This is what we know about their situation:

  • The boy is 14.
  • Birth mom has been out of the picture, but has gotten to a good place and wants to reestablish contact with “her” son (it’s unknown whether the quote marks were inserted by the letter writer, John Rosemond, or an editor).
  • Contact went from phone calls to daytime visits to overnights to a summer vacation.
  • Now, the increasingly moody teen wants to live with his birth mom and eat ice cream all day, figuratively speaking.

Sticky situation, for sure.

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How I Opened to Open Adoption: a #LivingFearless Post

I’ve been invited to participate in the #LivingFearless campaign, sponsored by Protection1.  What have you done that required a #LivingFearless spirit?

Mine lies in the way I became a mom…

Everything I Knew Was Wrong

Many years ago after we’d run the gauntlet of infertility diagnoses and treatments, we set out on a new and daunting journey, that of adoption. We thought that meant waiting in a long line until our number came up, when an agency would call us with news that we’d gotten to the top of the list and our baby was available. We’d live happily ever after, never to think about adoption again.

Turns out all that was wrong. There would be no line, no list, no adoption-be-gone. Instead, there would be an expectant mother considering adoption (and possibly father), and our fate would be in HER hands. Further, she/they might want to be involved in our lives now and forevermore.

The thought of that scared me so much I had half a mind to return to my reproductive endocrinologist and endure more pointless invasive procedures.

I had to calm myself down. I had to examine my fears. I had to open myself to the scary unknown.

livefearless

Continue reading How I Opened to Open Adoption: a #LivingFearless Post

My Son’s Birth Mom Sounds Passive Aggressive. Help?

Question: On social media, I posted a cute photo of my cute son doing a cute thing. My son’s mom commented:

It sucks to only see pix of him here. I wish you’d send me some. Oh, well, at least I get something.

I’m not really sure what to say? We’ve never had an agreement where I text her pics formally. But my relationship with birth mom includes connecting with her on social media so she can look at pix anytime and even screen shot them for herself.

I would love to text her every little moment but I just don’t have time. I understand that she is missing him. But the point of connecting on social media was for her to see him, like everyone else. I get a moment to upload a pic and everyone gets to see it, particularly her.

— Jacquie

relationship with birth mom

Continue reading My Son’s Birth Mom Sounds Passive Aggressive. Help?