Category Archives: Open Adoption

9 Tips to Long Term Success in Parenting Through Adoption

Technically, the title is “9 Steps to Long Term Success in Parenting Through Embryo Adoption.” But practically, this webinar applies to parenting through adoption of other types: traditional, international, foster, open, as well as other third party reproduction methods like donor egg, donor sperm, donor embryo.

And closed. This message is especially for people inclined to choose a closed adoption.

adoption webinarThrough the Embryo Adoption Awareness Center, I delivered a webinar recently, available to you for free. Its description:

Many couples worry about how they will handle some of the big moments when parenting a child that came to them through embryo adoption. How they tell the story over time? Will they be able to answer questions that come up? How will they navigate things if their child asks if they can meet biological siblings? Join Lori Holden as she shares tips for long term success with an embryo adoption regardless of the level of ongoing contact you have with the placing family.

Cliff Notes for “9 Tips to Parenting Through Adoption”

Here’s a cheat sheet. Tune in to get explanations and details. Continue reading 9 Tips to Long Term Success in Parenting Through Adoption

Parenting Expert John Rosemond Wants to Give You Open Adoption Advice

But there are a few problems with that.

First of all, he has no direct experience with open adoption, or even plain old adoption, as far as my sleuthing skills reveal.

Second of all, his advice is terrible.

Though he apparently has a big following, Jim Rosemond is new on my radar. I heard of him only because I got a google alert that in his syndicated column, he’d offered advice to a letter writing couple having difficulty with their teen son and his birth mom. This is what we know about their situation:

  • The boy is 14.
  • Birth mom has been out of the picture, but has gotten to a good place and wants to reestablish contact with “her” son (it’s unknown whether the quote marks were inserted by the letter writer, John Rosemond, or an editor).
  • Contact went from phone calls to daytime visits to overnights to a summer vacation.
  • Now, the increasingly moody teen wants to live with his birth mom and eat ice cream all day, figuratively speaking.

Sticky situation, for sure.

open adoption advice on teen who wants to live with birth mother Continue reading Parenting Expert John Rosemond Wants to Give You Open Adoption Advice

How I Opened to Open Adoption: a #LivingFearless Post

I’ve been invited to participate in the #LivingFearless campaign, sponsored by Protection1.  What have you done that required a #LivingFearless spirit?

Mine lies in the way I became a mom…

Everything I Knew Was Wrong

Many years ago after we’d run the gauntlet of infertility diagnoses and treatments, we set out on a new and daunting journey, that of adoption. We thought that meant waiting in a long line until our number came up, when an agency would call us with news that we’d gotten to the top of the list and our baby was available. We’d live happily ever after, never to think about adoption again.

Turns out all that was wrong. There would be no line, no list, no adoption-be-gone. Instead, there would be an expectant mother considering adoption (and possibly father), and our fate would be in HER hands. Further, she/they might want to be involved in our lives now and forevermore.

The thought of that scared me so much I had half a mind to return to my reproductive endocrinologist and endure more pointless invasive procedures.

I had to calm myself down. I had to examine my fears. I had to open myself to the scary unknown.

livefearless

Continue reading How I Opened to Open Adoption: a #LivingFearless Post