A year ago I published a letter from Charlene that explained her son had found his birth mother and they had all attended his college graduation. The reunion had gone so well that the son had decided to move to another state to live with his birth mom and get to know his biological family.
Charlene was happy for her son, yet also had many other emotions and was feeling confused by their coexistence.
That post resulted in a lively and helpful discussion. Charlene wrote in this week with an update, and she doesn’t mind that I share it with you. We both feel there is value in seeing what happens when a person has no choice but to trust the process (well, I suppose you can fight the process, but in adoption that rarely ends well).
Continue reading Update: the Mom Whose Son Left to Live with Birth Mom
Technically, the title is “9 Steps to Long Term Success in Parenting Through Embryo Adoption.” But practically, this webinar applies to parenting through adoption of other types: traditional, international, foster, open, as well as other third party reproduction methods like donor egg, donor sperm, donor embryo.
And closed. This message is especially for people inclined to choose a closed adoption.
Through the Embryo Adoption Awareness Center, I delivered a webinar recently, available to you for free. Its description:
Many couples worry about how they will handle some of the big moments when parenting a child that came to them through embryo adoption. How they tell the story over time? Will they be able to answer questions that come up? How will they navigate things if their child asks if they can meet biological siblings? Join Lori Holden as she shares tips for long term success with an embryo adoption regardless of the level of ongoing contact you have with the placing family.
Cliff Notes for “9 Tips to Parenting Through Adoption”
Here’s a cheat sheet. Tune in to get explanations and details. Continue reading 9 Tips to Long Term Success in Parenting Through Adoption
But there are a few problems with that.
First of all, he has no direct experience with open adoption, or even plain old adoption, as far as my sleuthing skills reveal.
Second of all, his advice is terrible.
Though he apparently has a big following, Jim Rosemond is new on my radar. I heard of him only because I got a google alert that in his syndicated column, he’d offered advice to a letter writing couple having difficulty with their teen son and his birth mom. This is what we know about their situation:
- The boy is 14.
- Birth mom has been out of the picture, but has gotten to a good place and wants to reestablish contact with “her” son (it’s unknown whether the quote marks were inserted by the letter writer, John Rosemond, or an editor).
- Contact went from phone calls to daytime visits to overnights to a summer vacation.
- Now, the increasingly moody teen wants to live with his birth mom and eat ice cream all day, figuratively speaking.
Sticky situation, for sure.
Continue reading Parenting Expert John Rosemond Wants to Give You Open Adoption Advice
A comment left on a recent post caused me to revisit an article published originally on The Huffington Post, now reprinted here.
Feeling Like an Imposter
On a spring day many years ago, Crystal was about to leave the hospital after giving birth the day before. Continue reading What if I’m Raising Someone Else’s Children?