When I was very new at being an adoptive mom, and upon hearing from several adoptees how painful an Either/Or mindset was to them in their own adoptive families, I began to embrace what I came to call a BothAnd heartset. It has become a key principle in how I conceptualize not only adoption, but life — becoming expansive enough to span opposing sides of something.

So imagine my delight when Elena Hall reached out about her children’s book, Adoption is Both.

Elena is not only an adoptee, but she has also been licensed as a master social worker (LMSW). She shares her thoughts on adoption and Both/And here.

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Elena S Hall: Life comes with disappointments & joys. There is a natural duality every day between good and bad or happy and sad. 

Continue reading Adoptee Elena Hall on Both/And in Adoption →

Here are three things about music that developmental psychologist Gordon Neufeld, PhD, pointed out in a recent interview:

• music helps us access feelings for which we have no words;
• music enables us to feel the shape of a hole;
• music joins people together.

In other words, music can be an especially magical force for people affected by adoption.

Shortly thereafter, musician Lissa Schneckenburger wrote asking Why isn’t there music for adoptive parents? — and letting me know she is filling that gap in her own creative way. So I watched and enjoyed some of her music videos and invited her to talk here about the same thing Dr Neufeld highlighted: healing through music.

I hope you, too, enjoy the music and thoughts of guest poster Lissa Schneckenburger.

War Zone

It’s pretty common to hear snippets of song at our house, and not just because I’m a  musician by trade. You might hear strains of made-up-on-the spot hits like “oh my sweet  child, please pick up your shoes” or “go brush your teeth teeth, go brush your teeth” or  my son’s favorite, “Mama is so proud of you.”

Continue reading Healing Through Music: Songs for Adoptive Families by Lissa Schneckenburger →