Tag Archives: podcast

How Does It Feel to Be Adopted? Two Playwrights Set the Stage for Adoptive Parents

We talk often in this space about attunement in adoptive parenting, which is the multi-step process of intuiting in the moment what your child needs from you. Adoptive parents are better equipped to attune well when they are able to come at things from an adoptee’s perspective, through attempting to understand this key question: what does it feel like to be adopted?

Attuning in 3 Steps

That’s Step 1 for attuning — to understand as best you can the point of view of an adoptee. You won’t get this from listening to one adoptee’s story, or two, or ten, but to many.

As you DO listen to adoptees and their experiences of being adopted, you will begin to spot commonalities and patterns, and experience a-ha moments that can help you hone your ability to feel with your child, which is Step Two.

Doing so prepares you for Step Three: to respond in a connected way in those crucial moments where connection is called for but may not come easily.

It’s no wonder, then, that I am excited to share this episode of Adoption: The Long View. Episode 302 features the highly accomplished and acclaimed Maggie Gallant and Suzanne Bachner, two playwrights who help audiences better attune to the experience of being adopted.

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Episode 302: Playwrights Maggie Gallant & Suzanne Bachner

The plays of Maggie Gallant and Suzanne Bachner (some of which can be attended virtually) are gifts to adoptive parents. Why? Because absorbing experiences through theater is one way to feel alongside a character — in this case adoptees in starring roles.

When we cross the threshold into your home, our birth parent crosses with us, whether they are physically with us or not. And you have to honor that. You can’t shut the door. You have to leave that space and allow them to exist there.

If you can do that from the start and with openness and honesty and invite conversation, then you set yourself up for this potentially wonderful and healthy and fulfilling relationship.

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9 Common Adoptive Parenting Situations that WILL Arise, and How to Handle Them

Rare as a unicorn would be the adoptive family who never heard You’re not my real mom! from their child, or Are your children related? from a nosy stranger. Or who never tried to explain to a child why they were adopted. Or who hasn’t had to figure out what to do in any number of awkward, delicate, or tricky adoption situations. Adoption-related parenting matters tend to  come up when you least expect them, when you’re not ready to handle them.

To kick off Season 3 of Adoption: The Long View, we’re addressing these and other issues that — anyone would agree — being prepared for makes a HUGE difference. Not only in your confidence as a parent, but also in your child’s confidence in you, that you’ve “got it,” this parenting gig.

Here to help with tricky adoptive parenting situations is my long-time friend in the adoption online space, Barbara Herel. Barbara is a hoot, so get ready for a very light-hearted jaunt through some very serious situations.

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9 Awkward Adoptive Parenting Situations You Need to Be Ready For

Category 1: What happens between you and your child

Listen in as we help you prepare for:

1. “You’re not my real mom!” (or dad)

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The Best Adoption Advice from Season 2 of Adoption: The Long View

Roundup: Best Advice from 10 Adoption Thought Leaders

Have the courage to turn the lights on for yourself.
Be open to the idea of developing a relationship with an adoption-competent therapist. Just assume you’ll need one.

Then if you don’t, it’s gravy.

Jen Winkelmann, MA, LPC, NCC,
adoption-competent therapist, in Ep207

Let’s Start with Gratitude

Episode 209 wraps up our second season — and we continue to reach more and more adoptive parents who take the long view of parenting by adoption. Word is out that this podcast is full of information that helps potential adoptive parents and already adoptive parents become more comfortable and effective at the more challenging parts of adoptive parenting.

So THANK YOU, listeners, for tuning in. THANK YOU, agencies who share this podcast with your clients. THANK YOU adoption support groups who discuss our topics together. A big THANK YOU to adopting.com for meeting people early in their adoptive parenting journey. THANK YOU all for sharing and engaging. Every time you Like, Share, or Rate this podcast on your preferred platform, it helps us reach and help more people.

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I’m also grateful for the 10 amazing guests who talked with me during Season 2, a remarkable group made up of 2 adoptees, 2 birth parents, 2 adoptive parents, 1 investigative journalist, 1 CEO, 2 parent coaches, 2 therapists, and some in double positions (don’t even try with the math).

You are going to love this listener’s digest of short audio clips, with each guest responding to the questions: What does it take to adopt well? And to adoptive-parent well?

Continue reading The Best Adoption Advice from Season 2 of Adoption: The Long View