My intent is to make adoption better, to fix the problems that we face, and to preserve it as a safe choice for women. Because in my experience, as it is and always has been, adoption is not a safe choice for women to make.
— Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, birth mom,
in Ep 205 of Adoption: The Long View —
If your main sources of information about adoption are from the loudest voices — namely adoption professionals and adoptive parents (like me) — you may be missing out on key aspects that would help you better navigate your own adoption situation and better serve your child. You can’t see your own blind spots, by definition, and you don’t know what you don’t know, which is why it’s important to diversify where you get your information.
As you diversify, find and choose trusted sources, people with lived experience, people who also encourage diversity in their own sources of information, rather than from echo chambers.
To that end, with me in this episode are two amazing guests, two trusted and incisive women in the adoption space: Sara Easterly, a well-respected adoptee voice, and Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, a well-respected birth mom voice. Each of them has their finger on the pulse of not only their own part of the adoption triad, but they also crossover into other parts. Each of them seeks to elevate the voices of the lesser-heard, and each is busting myths about adoption.
↑ Listen right here! ↑
Episode 205 of Adoption: The Long View will help you better understand your child’s experiences and your child’s other parents’ experiences and proceed accordingly, with fewer blind spots.
Continue reading Busting Myths about Adoption & Shining Light on Blind Spots
I’ve been always told that it was a gray market adoption. — Sara Easterly, adoptee, author, daughter, mom
I never really knew what that meant.
When the entire approach to a societal issue is steeped in shame and secrecy, we end up with lots of opaque-ish words like fog and gray market — and worse. When it comes to adoption, if you start scrounging around in a thesaurus you can find even shadier words like dirty and impenetrable, words that sometimes apply to policies and practices.
Many adoptees and first parents, especially those from the Baby Scoop Era, can attest to this opacity and to problems that germinate in darkness. People then either suffer in the dark or find their way into the light — or maybe both.
Sara Easterly is one who did both. She has been coming out of the adoption fog for years, and now carries a flashlight to help others living in adoption. Her insights are especially helpful for adoptive parents to hear.
I’m excited to say that Sara is the latest guest on my podcast, Adoption: The Long View.
Continue reading Sara Easterly on Coming Out of the Adoption Fog
How easily can a proud parent’s enthusiastic sharing become oversharenting? Sara Easterly is back to help adoptive parents remember to see even the most common things from our child’s point of view.
Aside: my interview with Sara for the podcast Adoption: The Long View was just released! It kicks off National Adoption Awareness Month, which centers on marginalized voices — adoptees and birth parents.. Make sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts (here’s where I do).
Sara’s episode is sooooooooo good and juicy — all of the episodes are!
Deciding when and how to share our kids’ stories publicly can be tricky for parents to navigate, especially when it seems everyone around us is posting photos and stories of their children online. Kid-focused posts are usually met with adoration from mainstream culture, who cherish a refreshing break from the rest of the feed that is so often ranting, despairing, or arguing.
Continue reading 8 Important Dynamics to Consider Before Oversharenting Your Adoption Story