busting myths about adoption wtih Sara and Kelsey

Busting Myths about Adoption & Shining Light on Blind Spots

My intent is to make adoption better, to fix the problems that we face, and to preserve it as a safe choice for women. Because in my experience, as it is and always has been, adoption is not a safe choice for women to make.

Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, birth mom,
in Ep 205 of Adoption: The Long View

If your main sources of information about adoption are from the loudest voices — namely adoption professionals and adoptive parents (like me) — you may be missing out on key aspects that would help you better navigate your own adoption situation and better serve your child. You can’t see your own blind spots, by definition, and you don’t know what you don’t know, which is why it’s important to diversify where you get your information.

As you diversify, find and choose trusted sources, people with lived experience, people who also encourage diversity in their own sources of information, rather than from echo chambers.

To that end, with me in this episode are two amazing guests, two trusted and incisive women in the adoption space: Sara Easterly, a well-respected adoptee voice, and Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, a well-respected birth mom voice. Each of them has their finger on the pulse of not only their own part of the adoption triad, but they also crossover into other parts. Each of them seeks to elevate the voices of the lesser-heard, and each is busting myths about adoption.

↑ Listen right here! ↑

Episode 205 of Adoption: The Long View will help you better understand your child’s experiences and your child’s other parents’ experiences and proceed accordingly, with fewer blind spots.

5 Myths Adoptive Parents Still Believe

Listen in as Sara, Kelsey, and I talk about:

  • Busting myths about adoption that adoptive parents still believe because they aren’t listening to all voices;
  • How being critical of adoption practices is actually the opposite of being anti-adoption;
  • Sara on adoptees’ responses to a mainstream adoption article on Wired.
  • Kelsey on birth mothers’ responses to a mainstream adoption article in Time
  • Their best advice for adopting well and for adoptive-parenting well.

Prefer to read? Here’s a transcript (but listening is so much better!).

I kept it all inside because I felt a fierce need to protect my adoptive parents, particularly my adoptive mom, for lots of reasons, worried she would go away. I’ve already learned mothers go away. That was my first life lesson.

Sara Easterly, adoptee, in Ep 205 of Adoption: The Long View

Show Notes from Episode 205 on Busting Myths about Adoption

Sara Easterly is an award-winning author of books and essays. Her spiritual memoir (which I loved), called Searching for Mom, won a gold medal in the 2020 Illumination Book Awards, among many other awards and honors. Sara’s adoption-focused articles and essays have been published by Psychology Today, Dear Adoption, Feminine Collective, God’s Space, Her View from Home and Severance Magazine, just to name a few. Sara has guest posted here about what’s behind You’re Not My Real Mom! and 8 Dynamics to Consider Before Oversharenting.

Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard is the Director of Advocacy and Policy at Adopt Match. She’s a birth mother who is passionate about raising the standards in adoption to better serve the children, mothers, and families affected by adoption.Kelsey has worked at various agencies and law firms in the adoption field and can often be found fervently and frequently begging the question, “How do we fix this?” She’s also a co-host of The Birth Mom Podcast, Twisted Sisterhood.

How to Tune In Regularly

adoption the long view

You can find us on any podcast platform and on Adopting.com.

A new episode comes out the first Friday of the month. Thank you for sharing, subscribing, and rating this episode!


guide to living in open adoption

Lori Holden, mom of a teen son and a young adult daughter, writes from Denver. Her book, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole, is available through your favorite online bookseller and makes a thoughtful anytime gift for the adoptive families in your life. Catch episodes of Adoption: The Long View wherever you get your podcasts.

Lori was honored as an Angel in Adoption® in 2018 by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.



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