Tag Archives: speaking gigs

The Day I Became a “Real” Mom

Remember my anticipation around the Mother’s Day-themed Listen To Your Mother Show two months ago? How ner-cited I was?

The video is now available! For those of you not able to attend the show, here’s “The Day I Earned My Mom Badge,” about the moment I knew I had become a “real” mom.

Who knew I could get so much mileage out of such a crappy experience?

I highly recommend you check out the clips of my fellow cast members who are also on the Denver playlist. I’ve heard each of them four times now and I’m still laughing and crying at these superb stories and storytellers.

Advice

Advice is like snow – the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper in sinks into the mind.Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.Marcus Tullius Cicero

I have been known to give advice. But having been raised by an advice-generous father (which ultimately turned out to be a good thing, maybe even the reason I’m in a position to give advice) I have tried not to offer unsolicited assvice. Those who live with me would surely say I’ve failed.

For this month’s Time Warp Tuesday we’re revisiting posts about advice. Kathy at Bereaved and Blessed invites us to:

Choose a post from your archives in which you wrote about advice. The blog entry could about helpful or not so helpful advice you gave or received. Then write a new post about why you chose that post and what has happened since it was written.

Last winter I was asked by Pampers and BlogHer to answer some of the common questions that newly adoptive parents have, as part of their joint Absolute Beginner series. The Crib Sheet pdf is available to read and download. But if you want to leave a comment regarding all that advice, you’ll need to do so here. You can even leave your own advice if you’d like: What do you wish you’d known in the early days of your adoption? What advice would you give to someone just starting out on the adoption road?

What has happened to me since then? A few biggies:

I’ll close with this little gem (meta-advice!) from an American president.

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.Harry S. Truman

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go tell my children to watch cartoons until their brains rot.

~~~~~

See Time Warp Tuesday to read more posts about advice, and maybe even add your own (even if it’s no longer Tuesday).

Perfect Moment Monday: Anticipation

The ambiance in the car is electric, each of us holding pent-up feelings. Tessa is in the back, eager to assume her job of handing out programs and seating people. She’s crimped her hair and carefully picked out her dress and I can’t believe this lovely tween was once a tiny baby I could hold in the crook of an arm.

Sitting next to Tessa is my new friend Stephanie. I haven’t known her long, but I feel I know her intimately. It’s because I have been privy to the amazing piece she is going to read tonight, the one about mommy guilt that is sure to make everyone in the audience nod their heads. A gorgeous and witty woman, Stephanie exudes both confidence and a little nervousness, just like I am probably doing. She tells us that she’s thrilled that her husband and so many of her friends will be at the show, but she’s sad her mom won’t be able to come from out of state.*

Gretchen, my fella**  MileHighMamas writer, is riding shotgun. She looks stunning, even more so than usual. Gretchen has this inner calm, an unflappability, cultivated perhaps by being the mother of 9 children. Yet alongside her zen is the same excitement I’m feeling.

I’m rarely this gussied up. For once, I’m not wearing yoga pants but an outfit that took some actual thought to put together. And heels. For once, I have makeup on, much to Tessa’s delight. For once, I have actually spent time on my hair. All this primping has added to the electricity I’m feeling, the jitters inside my jitters.

I’m driving on I-70 to get us to the Listen To Your Mother Show. Tonight we three will each take our position at the podium and share a 4-minute piece of our lives with an audience of 300. But what is more nausea-inducing is the idea that our show will be taped and put on YouTube in a few months for all the world to see.

We chat as a means to release tension. We talk about wishing we had false eyelashes so we’ll look better on camera. We talk about getting our kids cared for for the evening when all our usual babysitters will be in the audience. We talk about nerves and keeping our voices clear and drinking just the right amount of water, enough to keep our throats in good condition but not enough to have to conspicuously leave the stage during the 90 minute show.

In the midst our sweet anticipation, this curious mixture of anxiety and excitement, an unmistakeable guitar riff comes on the radio, one that takes you right back to wherever you were and whatever you were doing the summer of 1988. “She’s got a smile it seems to me | Reminds me of childhood memories.”

I can’t help myself. I blast Sweet Child o’ Mine (what an apt title for people on their way to a show about mothers and children.) And in spite of having two people in the car whom I normally would not subject to my singing, I blare right along with Axl Rose. I mean top of my lungs blare, singing with wild abandon. Well as much as I can while piloting the Pilot at 35 mph (we have now exited the highway to Colorado Boulevard).

I don’t care what Tessa says (she is protesting madly in the backseat), and I don’t worry what my friends think (maybe they are singing along with me; I’m in my own world so I don’t really know). All I know is that it feels so GOOD to be cruising along on this glorious early spring afternoon with these three young ladies, enjoying a nostalgic and rockin’ song on the radio, heading toward what is sure to be one of the peak nights of my life, all while clearing the cobwebs of my vocal cords.

I know in this moment that I”m having a perfect moment.  All senses converge with clarity and presence. I feel deep gratitude that this is my life.

~~~~~

From later in the evening:

Listen To Your Mother featuring Lori Holden

* Stephanie’s mom later surprises her at the front door to the theater.

** What’s the feminine version of the word “fellow”?

~~~~~

Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.

On the last Monday of each month we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join.

To participate in Perfect Moment Monday:

  • Follow LavenderLuz.com.
  • Write up your own Perfect Moment and post it on your blog (or other site).
  • Use LinkyTools below to enter your name (or blog name), the URL of your Perfect Moment post, and a thumbnail image if desired. (NEW: you can now put LinkyTools on your own Perfect Moment Monday post. Just click Get the Code Here and add the code to your own post. All the linkies will show up on your blog, too.)
  • Visit the Perfect Moments of others and let the writers know you were there with some comment currency.

With your Perfect Moment post , you may place this button on your blog (in the post, on the sidebar, or both).What Perfect Moment have you recently been aware of?

The next Perfect Moment Monday event will begin June 23.


You are also invited to click over to Jen Kehl’s Mix Tape Tuesday.