Tag Archives: writing my book

What’s Up? Big Things.

A few things to address what’s up for me lately, both in my personal life and as an adoption educator.

1. In Memory of Dominic DePalma

My sister’s son, Dominic DePalma (say his name), was loved by so many, and respected by teammates and rivals alike.

It had been exactly 77 days — 11 weeks to the minute — since our family’s tragic loss. At 7:13pm on a recent Thursday, Dominic’s high school team and its crosstown rival honored his memory in a way that soothed our hearts.

courtesy 9News.com

It was a beautiful night of loving Dominic, as much as it was a terrible night of missing him. We are living in the BothAnd, as my sister Tami observes in this interview.

It was such a lovely gesture by the teams, the schools, and the parents. Tami and Gino are buoyed by people saying Dominic’s name and noticing that he left a mark during his short time in the world. Please consider leaving a đź’š in a comment below and I will make sure Tami sees.

2. Announcement (something happier)

Continue reading What’s Up? Big Things.

That Time I Got Hurt and it Changed Me

[2016] My book, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption, turns 3 this week. It came out originally in hardcover, followed by a paperback version last year, and, per my publisher, will soon be available as an audiobook. My little creation spread its wings and is still flying.

If I trace it back, my book has its roots in being publicly ridiculed. I explained in a recent interview on MileHighMamas.com, excerpted below.

got hurt

Adoption Can Be Contentious

MileHighMamas: The topic of Adoption can be pretty contentious. There are pro-adoption people and anti-adoption people and loaded words and entrenched beliefs. You said in a radio interview that you “got spanked” early on. How did that experience shape your views?

Back when I was new to the online adoption world I had posted something (obnoxious, as it turned out) rooted in the idea that “Adoption is Awesome!” — and an adopted person called me out in her space. She wasn’t talking TO me but ABOUT me.

Her comment section blew up with full force of people who had endured adoption loss, primarily adoptees and birth mothers. Their words stung. Stung badly. I wanted to lash out and meet their hurt with my hurt. Did they know nothing about the pain of infertility? How dare they ridicule me. They didn’t even know me.

For a couple of days I seethed and licked my wounds, staying away from the site — after I printed the post and comments and tucked the pages away. Eventually I was able to read the paper version (visiting the site was too scary) and try to figure out where these people were coming from. It required that I put the hurt aside and just read. Just open up to understanding their experiences with adoption, which were different from mine.

It was transforming. And it completely changed not only the way I view adoption, but also how I navigate conflict online. I am grateful to each person who took part in that skewering for their part in my evolution.

Readers: Have you experienced something that seemed like a curse at first but turned out to be a blessing?

guide to living in open adoption

Lori Holden, mom of a teen son and a young adult daughter, writes from Denver. Her book, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole, is available through your favorite online bookseller and makes a thoughtful anytime gift for the adoptive families in your life. Catch episodes of Adoption: The Long View wherever you get your podcasts.

Lori was honored as an Angel in Adoption® in 2018 by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

The Time a 9News Crew Came to My House

Last week TaRhonda Thomas, a 9News reporter from Denver’s NBC affiliate station, along with cameraman Matt, interviewed me in my home. Apparently I did a terrible job hiding my love of purple.

Writer Lori Holden on 9News

The interview was part of a piece that featured Amber Johnson, my editor at MileHighMamas.com (which, incidentally, is seeking new contributors).

So come on in to my living room (and Amber’s back porch).

Continue reading The Time a 9News Crew Came to My House