Whaddaya Mean, Adoption Has Been Filtered?
For more than a century, all of us — those living in adoption and those observing it (and weighing in on it!) — have perceived adoption through the filters of professionals (who stand to profit from it), adoptive parents (who undeniably gain from it), and the media (which profits from sensationalizing it).
What has been lacking for more than a century is a fuller and more nuanced understanding of adoption from all voices in adoption, not just the privileged ones.
If we had a fuller and deeper understanding of adoption, what would we do differently?
This is the question Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth parent), and I set out to investigate, bringing together our lived experiences, as well as those of dozens of others.
How I Met My Co-Authors
Shortly before the pandemic, I met Sara at a book signing for her memoir, Searching for Mom. I loved her book and let her know it. What followed were a few amazing guest posts by her, as well as a budding friendship between us.
Not quite three years ago, she blurted out that we should write a book together. While we pondered what the a book might be, we both attended an adoption conference (virtual, of course) in which Kelsey was presenting. Behind the scenes in a Zoom chat, our book trio came together.
Over the last 2 ½ years, we did all the things you need to do to publish a book.
We wrote a proposal which landed us an agent, who procured us a publisher. We wrote, we edited, we rewrote, we argued, we resolved, we yearned to take a break from the intensity more times that we can count, but we kept going. We launched a video podcast. We meet weekly by zoom and once in person. We cried and we laughed. We became more than colleagues, and supported each other through hard times. We met most deadlines and asked for extensions on a few.
It's time for Adoption Unfiltered
Dear Readers, I am thrilled to announce that our book, Adoption Unfiltered, will be available December 1 in hardcover. It is the culmination of hundreds of discussions with people who have wise things to say about being adopted, surrendering a child to adoption, parenting by adoption, and other allies, through all kinds of adoption arrangements and from various eras.
Adoption Unfiltered Flips the Script
While adoptive parents (like me) have long held the megaphone, my co-authors and I have very intentionally centered adoptees and birth parent voices in the very structure and purpose of our book. I can’t wait for you to read Part I, in which Sara brings forth adoptee experiences from critical thinkers and attachment experts.
Kelsey has also been masterful at revealing viewpoints of birth parents. Part II of Adoption Unfiltered offers an understanding what it’s like to have become a birth parent and live as one, which, until now has remained both mysterious and stereotyped.
In Part III, I shine light on the deeper layers of the experience of adoptive parents, what we bring to the table and the common (yet not well understood) issues we face. Contributors talk with us about pronatalism, attachment, and our responsibilities to others as the power- and privilege-holders.
Finally, in Part IV we reimagine adoption in light of these myriad unfiltered perspectives. We suggest changes in hearts, minds, policies, and procedures that work better for us all, along with concrete next steps to aim that direction.
We hope you will join us in reimagining adoption and making it better for those who come after us.
7 Responses
Thank you, A. Certain people you know, if they were to read it, would certainly find it provocative!
SOOOOO exciting! I love this backstory. This book is so needed.
Thanks for being excited with us, Jess. Our contributors are AMAZING 😉
I’m so excited for you three. Thanks for this behind-the-scenes look at the book’s creation. Can’t wait to see it! I already ordered mine…
Thank you so much for your excitement and support, Beth!
I am so excited for this book to come out. Adoption is a lifelong journey and just when you thought you ‘got it’, you find out there is so much more to learn. Thanks Lori for bringing us ALL the perspectives.
Thank you, Linda! And thanks for sensing the infinity of “getting it.”