Haven’t had a new post in many days. what if i forgot how to write. I am suffering from a lack of suffering and I have nothing to write about. i feel sad today but with no reason.tessa was out of sorts too maybe the long weekend breaks the routine too much and we are unanchored.do NOT want to start christmas shopping. hate the pressure to find exactly the right gift for people. that’s my perfection coming out. i’d rather hibernate for the next several weeks. maybe come out in time for spring. why am i sad? haven’t worked out in about a week. need some endorphins. craving sugar. nothing to write nothing to write the coffee shop table is black and the mouse won’t work on it. this song reminds me of highschool when we did guys & dolls. Luck be a Lady tonight. rolling the dice. what am i betting on? what is chance and what is divine plan and what do i actually control? why am i feeling sad today? i have no right to be sad but i am so what do i do with it. when i’m sad do i have to know why. can i just cover it up with stuff until it fades away. does it need to be analyzed and understood. reading some bloggers makes me sad and i want to help but i don’t always know the right thing to say there’s the perfectionist again. sad sad sad. sleepy. unmotivated hungry. weepy. but not. crying feels so good sometimes but you have to save it up until you have a good reason. what is the point of anything. why do i check sitemeter so much, i mean what does it really matter, what is the point of knowing how long people read and why are so many 0:00 duration. sad sad but it will all be better again. probably soon.