Self-acceptance and unconditional love

February 3, 2012

in Uncategorized

As part of its Life Well Lived series, BlogHer asks:

How do you practice self-acceptance and find unconditional love for yourself?
How does practicing love first help you attract more love and happiness in your life?

I was very other-oriented in my teens and 20s. I sought the approval of my parents, professors, bosses, friends, boyfriends, co-workers and fleeting people who have come in and out of my life with varying degrees of importance. There wasn’t much bandwidth left for me to ask myself, “what do I value?”

I didn’t make the space or the find the silence to ask and answer the question. I chased others’ opinions of me, surviving on a flimsy reflected sense of self.

In my 30s and 40s, things are settling. My two bosses are in school now and I can find pockets of space and silence in my day. It’s in the space — whether on my yoga mat or during five minutes of meditation — that I quiet the voices outside and inside my head and tune in instead to my heart.

In the stillness of my heart is love. Quiet, unassuming, unconditional love. The more I can tap into that, the more I enjoy love for myself and those around me.

Awareness of the love that is always there, whether I notice it or not, helps me to experience happiness.

But to get there, I need to make time and space for stillness and silence (read what Stumbling Grace has to say about empty space).

So that’s my answer to the question. To see what the expert, Dr Aymee, has to say, click over to BlogHer’s LifeWellLived. And while you’re there, go ahead and enter the Kindle Fire sweepstakes, as well.

(Sidebar: One of my early posts was Can I twuwy wuv myself?)

How do you practice self-acceptance and find unconditional love for yourself?

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

tera February 3, 2012 at 10:06 am

Yes! I can relate. I would not make it through this life without taking time to stop and pray, meditate and listen to the beautiful music that is in me. I have a relationship with God that has seen me through so much in my life. Knowing the truth that I am worthy of unconditional love has made all the difference in my life.

On the journey there will be times of dark clouds; to unveil the truth it’s important to expose these clouds to the light of lasting truth. By doing this, we can see not only how special we are but how each person has a light in them and how together the whole kingdom of love and grace is connected.

When one person is in darkness, there is a loss for all. The light in us is part of a much larger and more powerful spectrum. Thanks for encouraging us to cultivate a way to hear the truth within the noisy confusion that keeps us from embracing it.

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jenny - Sugar Loco February 3, 2012 at 10:43 am

I’m thrilled to know you’ve found such peace with yourself!

I have been pondering a post, which in my head is titled, “I don’t care what you think”. It isn’t about getting the acceptance from others. For me, it’s about making sure my heart is pure with every move I make, and that I’m loved by God. That’s it, plain and simple. I’m finding that place of pure peace, joy and happiness too.

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Desiree February 5, 2012 at 8:51 am

I get it. There’s a point in life where you realize you own your “happy”. I know when I fail nothing someone else will say will be worse than what I’m saying to myself…and I deserve the right to be happiest when I do something right. It’s a good feeling to be good with yourself.

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a February 5, 2012 at 9:57 am

I think that’s a problem for so many people – we worry about pleasing others and don’t spend enough time worrying about ourself. And then, regardless of how much we want to please others, we feel a sort of resentment that no one else spends as much time worrying about pleasing us. But taking a step back, and taking care of yourself, allows you to regain perspective. You know everyone shows love differently, but it’s sometimes hard to see when you feel like you’re the one giving more.

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Ratna February 5, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Great article!!!! Very thoughtful and insightful -thanks for sharing.

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Denise @ Musician's Widow February 8, 2012 at 1:32 am

I can totally relate to worrying more about others opinions! I’ve been guilty of that more times than I care to admit. Growing up, I worried more about letting my parents down than I did letting myself down. But definitely with age comes internal wisdom and peace… and that’s absolutely beautiful.

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