Category Archives: Adoptive parenting

Update: the Mom Whose Son Left to Live with Birth Mom

A year ago I published a letter from Charlene that explained her son had found his birth mother and they had all attended his college graduation. The reunion had gone so well that the son had decided to move to another state to live with his birth mom and get to know his biological family.

Charlene was happy for her son, yet also had many other emotions and was feeling confused by their coexistence.

That post resulted in a lively and helpful discussion. Charlene wrote in this week with an update, and she doesn’t mind that I share it with you. We both feel there is value in seeing what happens when a person has no choice but to trust the process (well, I suppose you can fight the process, but in adoption that rarely ends well).

adoption reunion live with birth mom

Continue reading Update: the Mom Whose Son Left to Live with Birth Mom

9 Tips to Long Term Success in Parenting Through Adoption

Technically, the title is “9 Steps to Long Term Success in Parenting Through Embryo Adoption.” But practically, this webinar applies to parenting through adoption of other types: traditional, international, foster, open, as well as other third party reproduction methods like donor egg, donor sperm, donor embryo.

And closed. This message is especially for people inclined to choose a closed adoption.

adoption webinarThrough the Embryo Adoption Awareness Center, I delivered a webinar recently, available to you for free. Its description:

Many couples worry about how they will handle some of the big moments when parenting a child that came to them through embryo adoption. How they tell the story over time? Will they be able to answer questions that come up? How will they navigate things if their child asks if they can meet biological siblings? Join Lori Holden as she shares tips for long term success with an embryo adoption regardless of the level of ongoing contact you have with the placing family.

Cliff Notes for “9 Tips to Parenting Through Adoption”

Here’s a cheat sheet. Tune in to get explanations and details. Continue reading 9 Tips to Long Term Success in Parenting Through Adoption

#flipthescript 8: Adoptees Are In Reunion Whether They’re Searching or Not

Lesli Johnson, author of the helpful and repeatedly viral post, 10 Things Adoptess WantYou to Know, is flipping the script today. Adopted people are taking over the microphone in this space during November for National Adoption Awareness Month.

adoptees flipthescriptImage: Tracy Hammond

What Adoptees Do

are you my mother adoptionDuring a recent presentation at an adoption conference, I had attendees participate in a quick exercise.  I asked them to walk around the room and find the person they thought they most closely looked like.  The room instantly filled with nervous laughter as the participants met each others’ gaze, searching for facial similarities.  After a few minutes I had them take their seats and we talked about what that experience was like. 

I explained that this is what adoptees often do. They walk through the world, searching for their lost “twin” or someone they resemble.  Like the little bird in the popular children’s book, adoptees look at others and wonder: Are you my mother?

Continue reading #flipthescript 8: Adoptees Are In Reunion Whether They’re Searching or Not

Parenting in Adoption

Parenting By Adoption (Any Type!)

I have an article featured in the current issues of Adoptive Families magazine titled Parenting With an Open Heart.  (It’s currently accessible for free with or without subscription.)

adoptive parenting webinars

When I speak with adoptive parents through workshops and webinars, especially those who came to adoption through the international or foster routes, I sense such a craving for openness — even when contact with birth family is not possible.

Continue reading Parenting in Adoption