Category Archives: Adoptive parenting

#flipthescript 8: Adoptees Are In Reunion Whether They’re Searching or Not

Lesli Johnson, author of the helpful and repeatedly viral post, 10 Things Adoptess WantYou to Know, is flipping the script today. Adopted people are taking over the microphone in this space during November for National Adoption Awareness Month.

adoptees flipthescriptImage: Tracy Hammond

What Adoptees Do

are you my mother adoptionDuring a recent presentation at an adoption conference, I had attendees participate in a quick exercise.  I asked them to walk around the room and find the person they thought they most closely looked like.  The room instantly filled with nervous laughter as the participants met each others’ gaze, searching for facial similarities.  After a few minutes I had them take their seats and we talked about what that experience was like. 

I explained that this is what adoptees often do. They walk through the world, searching for their lost “twin” or someone they resemble.  Like the little bird in the popular children’s book, adoptees look at others and wonder: Are you my mother?

Continue reading #flipthescript 8: Adoptees Are In Reunion Whether They’re Searching or Not

Parenting in Adoption

Parenting By Adoption (Any Type!)

I have an article featured in the current issues of Adoptive Families magazine titled Parenting With an Open Heart.  (It’s currently accessible for free with or without subscription.)

adoptive parenting webinars

When I speak with adoptive parents through workshops and webinars, especially those who came to adoption through the international or foster routes, I sense such a craving for openness — even when contact with birth family is not possible.

Continue reading Parenting in Adoption

7 Questions Adopted Children May Ask

The summer edition of Pathway 2 Family is out. Articles include “What is Infertility?” and “Open Embryo Adoption: Radical or Common Sense?” Click the cover to read for free.

snowflakes on open adoptionMy colleague Dawn Davenport of Creating A Family has an article that discusses research on the emotional health on donor-conceived children.

And I wrote one that addresses the seven core issues of adoption, framed by seven common questions adopted children are likely to wonder about, maybe even out loud. Excerpt: Continue reading 7 Questions Adopted Children May Ask

So Many Emotions About My Son’s Adoption Reunion

Letter Writer: I  came across your post “He Wants to Live with His Birth Mother. Now what?”  — because I’m living it.

I am an adoptive mother of three.  My son, now 23 , graduated from college this past May.  Throughout his upbringing his father and I would talk about adoption from time to time and always told him (and the other kids, too) if they ever wanted to search for their birth parents we encourage and support and will help in anyway possible.

None of our kids ever took an interest, until earlier this year when my son was in his senior year of college. It seemed from out of nowhere, but all of a sudden he wanted to reach out to his birth mother.  I knew her last name and the state she last lived in. With that information, voilà,  he found her on Facebook.

My son met with a counselor who specialized in adoption search and reunion and we met with them to navigate the process.  My son asked for my help, asked if I could message her  through Facebook.  At first I was hesitant but after composing what I thought was a thoughtful , acceptable letter, the message was sent.

That was February of 2016.  We held our breath. Will she open the message, will she be open to corresponding, will she reject him? What will happen???

Fast forward a few months. We flew her and her entire family to his college town to attend his graduation this spring. They stayed for a week. Four weeks later my son decided to move to another state and live with them.

So this has been a whirlwind. It has been such an array of emotions. I am so grateful his biological family accepted him and immediately loved him and were open and kind and appreciative towards us.

On my bad days I feel like….. what. just. happened.

mixed emotions of adoption reunion

Continue reading So Many Emotions About My Son’s Adoption Reunion